I hate minibus taxis.

Sure, I use them on a daily basis to get to work or any other destination, but I absolutely dread going into a full minibus taxi. You’d probably think I’m a bad or lazy person for ranting on about this mode of transport, but this is the one time I get to rant about something no one else dares to complain about.

Getting to work early is the easy part if you’re an early riser, but if you’re looking to have the ‘perfect seat’, you’ll have to be extra early. Like, ”Early bird catches the worm,” kind of early.

If I get to choose the backseat, I choose the one closest to the door. If I choose any other seat, it becomes awkward when I have to exit the already cramped vehicle, shuffling in between people who refuse to give way for you to exit without stepping on their toes.

I never pick the seat that is directly next to the door. Most of the time, those seats are as loose as rusted hinges without screws on a door. If given the chance, those seats would fall off with you on them, which would certainly lead to the commuters laughing at you. The way it swings around and rattles when the driver speeds, you’d literally cling onto someone else’s seat for dear life.

The front seat is the one I hate the most, simply because of one reason: the taxi maths. Basically, if you’re in the front seat, the responsibility of counting all the money from the passengers and giving out the right change automatically falls on you. In such moments, you’d have to be intensely focused on counting the money and giving out change without any flaws.

If you falter in the slightest, maybe you dropped a coin/note, or if you’ve given out too much change, or if you’re taking too long with the task, you have to deal with irate and impatient passengers, jabbering wildly and jeering at you for making a mistake. The driver’s attitude towards you also doesn’t help either.

By the time you get to your destination, you’ll start to notice a stabbing pain in your left eye and a throbbing vein on your forehead.