Dear mother

I am shattered. I wrote this letter for you with my eyes filled with tears. My heart is filled with hatred and my soul is troubled. My mind has even stopped functioning.

If I may ask, what is love? What is protection? And what is care? I mean parental love, parental protection and parental care. I am sorry that you had to give birth to me. I am sorry that I was born with disability. I am sorry I am the reason for your break up with dad.
I am sorry that I had to be a girl, I know how much you envied to carry a son in your womb. I am sorry that I am an Albino. I am sorry for my body description. I am sorry for damaging your slim figure, and breasts.

Mother, what have I done to deserve this? I didn’t ask to be delivered to this unfriendly planet. I have never asked to be an albino. Do you really hate me to a point of selling me to your younger brother? Do you know how many sleepless nights I had coe he was feeding himself on me? Do you know the weight he had when he was on top of me? Do you know how much tears I’ve cried the first time he forced himself on me? Mother, my bladder is no longer working.

Mother, was it because I was born with a disability or is it because I am not a boy? Disability or not, I’m yours! Umntwana ongakhali ufela embelekweni. My siblings roam around while I’m busy doing their chores. When they left chasing after men and drugs I was doing their laundry.

There is no boyfriend that you never accepted but you failed to accept my girlfriend. You accepted rapists, woman abusers, killers and criminals but failed to accept a God fearing and innocent girl. You accepted my sibling’s vat n sit, but failed to accept a marriage proposal from my girlfriend. Is it because of my sexuality that you hate me? Is it because of my skin type, gender, or disability that you see no success for me? Is it because I come bearing no treasure but pain sorrows and sadness?

I am broken and shattered by your ill treatment. What have I done to deserve such? I am sorry but I’m not! Mother, I’m asking for forgiveness if I did you wrong. I know I am no your precious jewel. I am not that rare diamond but I’m your daughter.

Your daughter asking for forgiveness.
Your crying daughter…

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