“I plead guilty, my Lord,” I hammered the words with clipped precision. I knew that, had I looked back, I would have seen my mom popping her eyeballs out and the gasps behind me wouldn’t be doing me any justice. I didn’t want it anyway, well, not any more.
I was only eight years old when my teacher, who always smiled when she looked my way, asked a question in class. I went and studied, I had to get it right the next day. Studying that much did not give me the answers, only even more questions.
I raised my arm as high as the sky, or so I wished. Ms Mayeka was looking around everywhere except for at me. I knew why she did that, and it gave me even more courage. Defeated, she looked back at me and smiled.
At break time, she summoned me to her desk, which was at the back at the classroom. I smiled and went there, but before I accepted the sweet she was giving me, I had a question to ask. She smiled back at me; after all, this is what I always did.
“Ms, what is the difference between sex and rape?”
She gave me a look and then looked the other way, probably thinking of the answer. She looked back at me and, for the first time, she did not smile.
I made a mental note as she said, “Ask your mom.”
Going back, I was quite excited that I was yet to discover new information. My mom would definitely give it to me, she always pushed me to study, that one, not that I needed the effort. My father always said I was too smart for my age…#eyeroll
“Mom!” As soon as I set foot on my doorstep, I called for her. She was in her room, packing some drawings in her bag and she was in a hurry.
“Baby, I’m so sorry, whatever it is, please ask your father. I’ve got to go, I’ll see you tomorrow, ne?”
Oh, I remembered, she had a show that night. She is a designer. That night, Daddy dished up as my mom had already cooked. After dinner I took my books and went to the sitting room to study. He was there watching a movie. At some point, he told me to go and study in my room. I didn’t protest.
After a long study session, I went back to him and asked the other question. “Daddy, what is to copulate?”
He gave me a look, quite similar to that of Ms Mayeka, but he didn’t look the other way, instead he changed the look to some sort of smirk.
“Want me to show you?”
That was the question! 11 years later, here I am, standing in front of the courtroom, with a mind apathetic to anything said, even the altercation behind me. I did it. After all, I asked the question.
I asked him again, “What is the difference between payback and revenge?”
This time it was my turn to show him, and I did.
I snapped back and looked back at my mom and Ms Mayeka. She didn’t have a smile. She might have been in tears but she looked better by herself than with that animal of a husband. It’s a good thing he died with no kids.
She is better off without the resentful me. I looked at her and she didn’t break eye contact, I did. After all, I had executed my plan…All that I’ve ever lived for!
Tell us: What do you think her plan was?