” I’m sorry,” he spoke gently .
I folded my arms and saw remorse in his eyes. He really meant it. He ignored me on WhatsApp while online. I wrote all what hurt me and he visited me. He stay a hour away from my place and it wasn’t bad.
” Its fine “I brushed his shoulders warmly. I laughed sarcastically binsider anger warmed my heart. I really loved him . Love conquered all,I had to forgive him.
” Thanks for forgiving me,” he smiled.
Something was different about us. It was him! He looked like he had changed. He started to care for me,he never care . The adrenaline rush brought joy and happiness in my heart.ni wanted to jump or scream ,I knew I what I felt was real. I couldn’t believe it. I wonder I’d it would last ,I was tired a on and off relationship.
One day it was awkward between us. I surprised him for lunch ,lied it was urgent . I wanted to see if he loved me .
” Baby,you know I can’t look after your children,” he spoke calmly but this turn it to boring music. Suddenly I felt cold in the room,it was his words that stole something inside me. I swallowed purposefully and smiled slightly.
I didn’t know what to say to him,I had my mind was questioning for answers. I was dumbfounded and deeply hurt to this. Yes ,I did love him to help me with my kids. They need a fatherly figure not a uncle. Imagine if my children called him uncle but I can’t force them . Their relationship must be solid and strong and call him daddy as long its their choice.
” Who said I want you to look after my kid?” I asked anxiously.
” I was just assuming…,” I interrupted him.
” I have been looking after my children on my own. Its your choice to do what you want but I just want your love ,” I spoke calmly trying to erase the tense between us.
I meant it thought,I only wanted his love . Is it wrong for me to ask for help from him concerning my kids? My father never taught me to depend on a man. That is why I had to stand on my own and work .
” Ohk,” he sighed as if he was relieved.
The tense was getting hot and I left before we could eat the lunch .Sadness fall over me. I had to get away . I wanted to be alone and confide in a friend but I had none. I never trusted anyone,everyone is jealous of him. I started to question myself if he really love me . Why was I feeling he was forcing himself?
That was not the same incident. He said he couldn’t visit me because he was sick. I was more worried about me. I even prayed for him,I couldn’t sleep with the possibility it could be worse.
The next day I check his last seen of WhatsApp and noticed he spend time after 30 minutes he said he wanted to sleep. I was furious. Men don’t like a angry woman or a nagging woman,I have to be calm.
How are you today?
I am fine. I was joking
About
I wasn’t sick,I was testing you
My anger is boiling up, thought I can’t show it to him. Maybe he is checking if I was a good woman. A smile planted on my face but my heart plead the way I love . I can’t lose him. I thrive to be with him. I turned a blind eye on negative,I should give him a chance. Let’s see how it pans out.
One Saturday my heart flattered when I saw the three magic words from my screen..
I love you
I wish he could tell me everyday ,holding my name and kissing my hand. I just wish.The thought seem to linger in my head.