Mama, I’ll never forget the day you found out about my involvement in the gang. The look of shock and disappointment on your face haunts me to this day. I know you had such high hopes for me. You wanted me to have a much different life than this; a life of respectability, honour, and success.

But the truth is, mama, my life took a turn for the worse a few years ago. I found myself in a dark place, surrounded by violence and poverty. I was living on the streets and desperate for a way out. That’s when I was approached by a member of the gang. He promised me a job, protection, and a future.

The job was to do the gang’s dirty work. From protection racketeering to drug deals, I did it all. It was the only way I could make money, and the only way I could survive. I hated myself for it, but I was too ashamed to tell you. I kept it hidden from you, hoping that someday I could find a way out.

But it only got worse. Before I knew it, I was deeply entrenched in the gang’s inner workings. I became one of the most feared and respected members of the organization. I had money, power, and influence. I was living the ‘good life’.

But it came at a cost. I had become engrossed in crime and was more and more distant from you. I’d broken your heart and I knew it. I wanted to do better, to be a better person. But it was too late. The gang was my family and the streets were my home.

That’s why, mama, I’m a gangsta. I’m sorry for the pain I’ve caused you, for the disappointment I’ve brought to your life. I would give anything to change it all and make you proud. But I can’t. I’m stuck in a life I never wanted.

All I can do now is promise you that I’ll stay true to my word. I’ll never resort to unnecessary violence or put myself in harm’s way. I’ll use the power I gained from the gang to do good and make a difference in our community.

That’s why I’m a gangsta, mama. I’m sorry for everything.