Why does it feel like my world is about to crumble when I think about losing you someday?Why do I feel like I’ve invested too much than I had intended to…? Why do I feel like I’ve made you the centre of my world. 

I fear that I’ll forget to move forward when you cut things off with me. I fear that I won’t be sane ever again. 

Of course you haven’t done anything that suggests that you’ll soon leave me but I’m old enough to know and understand that nothing lasts forever. I’ve seen it with my parents. I know very well that this is dangerous but how do I stop??? How do I stop something that I myself don’t know how it began? It’s not because I am naive or stupid. Moreover it’s not because I’ve never experienced any heartbreaks before,trust me when I say that I have. I know that feeling of giving love so many chances but then you keep on getting the same results! The same misfortunes! The same heartbreaks! The same headaches. ! Being treated like bullshit to the extent that you see nothing wrong with such treatment. 

I fear that I’m getting too weak for my liking. I’ve let go of my guard therefore I’ve made myself more vulnerable to pain. I know how it feels to be betrayed by someone you would give your life for. I know how it feels when the one person that matters wants nothing to do to you. I know how it feels to apologize to someone and beg them to take you back even though you haven’t done anything wrong. You don’t really know what you’re apologising for but the only thing that matters is that they take you back. Nothing seems to go right. 

We all go through something like that but not all of us are strong enough to come back and still be willing to give love another fighting chance. I hope I don’t get tired of loving and living, even after so many heartbreaks.