maintaining ties could not, did not . as much as I wanted to leave, I could not, my body seemed to have frozen in place . a rage of confusion consuming me as I sat still, unanswered questions flooding in my mind, making me dizzy. your voice echoing in my headspace, took me back to the first time you told me that you loved me, your endless yet effective reassuring words, chaste kisses and the way you’d suck onto my neck ,

shower together, go crazy at each others absence. It took me back to when kissing you seemed easy as breathing, nearly essential – like my lips were meant to brush against yours, in sync. And here I am, in the bathroom floor, trying to find logical explanation as to why all that suddenly changed the minute I moved in with you. Wondering if it was possible for you to love me wholly and detest me wholly the next minute. but it is my fault, I don’t know how but somehow the mirror’s saying so too.



did you never love me back? was I too naïve to see it ? was I that good at eluding the fact? I find myself groping in the dark, in hope to find the love I am supposed to to be receiving time and again. And now that it all makes sense now, I feel stupid for surreptitiously crying myself to sleep every night after you’ve told me how useless I am. hiding under the blankets, seeking the solace that I find nowhere else. shooting stealthily glares at the clock, attached on the grey wall, rather apprehensive at the facty matter that you’d be here in any heartbeat from now. I shut my eyes ever so tightly as I await the clangorous sound of the door, you shut with so much anger as you walk in, probably dreading. No–detesting the fact that you would have to see the face you hate so much. I have heard countless stories about hard love, beautiful love, but this….is neither . I therefore choose to love myself for once, take care of my devastated heart …its said that it comes and goes but then if Im feeling it everyday, Its more than a bad week or misunderstanding.



by 𝐍𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐲𝐞𝐧𝐤𝐨𝐬𝐢 𝐒𝐞𝐣𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐞



𝐋𝐨𝐥, 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐚 𝐬𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫’𝐬 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐮𝐩 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡, 𝐢 𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐢𝐟 𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐢 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐲’𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 , 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐭𝐡𝐨 !