Wednesday 10 May 2023
11:34am

I hurled myself into his sage green and dusty blue wall painted office. The shiny brown hardwood floor and painting hanging on the wall gave the office a secure, safe and loving home feeling. The welcoming scent of the Jasmine and German royal Estelle plants in the stripped blue and white flower pots standing opposite each other at the far right end corner of the office turned that office into a dream vacation location. The Gerbera flower in a plain white vase on the office table was the second attractive sight, for the dashing tall German man who sat behind it was more mesmerizing.

There he was in his royal blue suit, hugging his hunky body as he sat in his German glory like a General who just got rewarded for leading the army to victory. Opposite him sat his PA Adelaide in a white blouse and black pencil skirt with a black wedge shoe going through some documents.

“I need to talk to you now,I’m losing my mind,” I said, trembling tears ready to burst out of my eye balls like the Victoria falls river as I stood in the middle of the office.

“Kindly give us space, we’ll pick up where we left off in 30 minutes,” he said, dismissing Adelaide in a polite manner.

With that said he quickly got off his throne as I like to call it and rushed towards me putting my small hands in the grasp of his enormous warm palms.

“Take a seat,” he said helping me sit on his Nixon sectional coffee leather couch.”What’s got you in such a state dear? “he asked, with so much concern in the tone of his voice with his soothing German accent.

” Things are sour for me, just when I had certainty I would get the Siqalo cleaning tender it went South. Nothing ever goes right in my life, I’m a failure”I explained as I began weeping bitterly.

“You are a fantastic being, again I repeat you need to believe in yourself. So what if you didn’t get the tender? There are still more opportunities and tenders for you out there. I for one believe in you, you should too,” He said in a reassuring voice, handing me his handkerchief.

“Thank you I really needed to hear this. Honestly I don’t know what I would do with you. If it wasn’t for you coming into my life I would have ended my life a long time ago. I’m glad you are in my life no one can ever take your place, “I said as a smile began to surface on my face.

The office phone rang.

“Sivoski. Yes I’m all packed ,will book my plane ticket two days before the departure date,ok thank you see you soon,” he said.

“Uhm.. are you taking a vacation?” I asked with concern and confusion written all over my face at once.

Clearing his throat, “Well Anne there is something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about, there is no way of sugar coating this so I will just cut to the chase. I’m leaving for Germany in a week and it’s for good.”

“What! What do you mean you are leaving? What about me? what will become of me? When were you planning on dropping this bomb shell on me? You should have never forced your way into my life, I regret the day you gave me your business card at the hospital, pretending to be sympathetic with me after the trauma of my father’s sudden death,” I yelled at him with so much anger hovering over the crown of my head like a vulture over animal carcass. In that moment he had gone from being a German God to a German shepherd, Yes the dog.”Do you have any idea how long it took me to finally open up about my demons to anyone?”
Sivoski stood next to his office table in silence.

“Why are you doing this to me Siv, especially now when I need you the most. You the only person who gave me hope and the will to want to live again. Now you are the very person who is snatching and crushing that hope. You will burn in hell,” I said weeping bitterly.

“Ms Mills come down, there is no need for all this drama. Why are you acting up? We are not involved romantically. I assure you I will refer you to a former colleague of mine he is also the best at what he does,”he said, trying to reason with me.

“You sound clingy right now, which tells me that we are not making progress with your Dependent Personality Disorder (DPD).I had diagnosed you with DPD eight months ago I thought by now we would have made progress.You still rely on people for your emotional needs,” he said as he began pacing up and down the office.

“This takes us back to square one,” he said suddenly standing before me.
”Believe me you I want to see you through all this but I have to go back to my home land. I promise to hand you over to capable hands,” he said.

I felt diminished. Then reality struck me, Sivoski wasn’t a possession of mine. He was just the man helping me deal, heal and get over issues hindering progress in my life. He was only my therapist.