When his friends ask about her, he just replies, “Aah esinye soo,” meaning she is just another chick to him. When her friends ask her about him, she replies, “He is my hero, my lover, my soulmate and my everything.”

If only she could hear what he says about her to his friends, she wouldn’t be saying what she is saying about him to her friends.

When boys are together they talk about girls in an inhumane way. They will discuss their sex life with each other, bragging about useless stuff that is just senseless. You can find them talking about who slept with which girl. Sometimes they even compete about who is having a lot of sex. Peer pressure is very common in boys, and it is hard to avoid it.

“Look how many numbers I got today,” one boy says, showing his friend phone numbers of girls he asked out today.

“Aah uy’skhokho njayam,” his friend is encouraging these bad manners.

“I know boy, now you will have to agree that I am better than you,” he tells his friend again.

“No boy, I will agree that you are the best if you sleep with each one of them.”

This is everyday conversation boys have, almost every time, busy playing and scheming with other girls’ feelings, talking about them like they’re some cheap meat in a butchery. But I’ll be wrong painting all boys to be like this. I am sure there are some boys who still value and treat girls with the dignity and respect they deserve.

What makes boys talk about girls like this? Have you all realised that this leads to girls being uncomfortable going to shops? Because they know boys on the corner of the street are going to harass them and insult them?

“Yo Boy, there she comes,” a boy points to a girl, showing his friends. “This is your chance boy, if you play your cards right, you gonna hit boy.”

“Ey babe, sweet lam lomkhuhlwano, thambo lam le fish, slenda sama catalogue, ntambo ye BlackBerry, uthini daa?”

“Thabo, I am not in the mood please,” she says, passing a group of boys sitting down, while Thabo is standing trying to talk to her.

“Nxa, yin’ngawe, waz’yenza special njee!”

“Vele ngi-special. You think I am like those girls of yours? Haa wena Palesa, you are not even that beautiful. I was just doing you a favour, you are not even average.” Thabo is yelling at Palesa, and his friends are laughing, embarrassing Palesa.

Do you see how boys treat girls? This too is a abuse.

There is nothing wrong by trying your luck. But if she says no, respect her decision. Women abuse starts and generates here. From boys. Some say women abuse is a societal thing. When society is broken, seeing how these young boys treat girls, but turn a blind eye, what will be the future?

Let’s rather teach boys while they are young. Have all these life skills lessons almost every day at school. Let’s change this stereotype around boys. Let us be the change. Respect and protect our strong girls. When she says no, she says no.


Tell us: Have you ever experienced this kind of abuse? How did you handle it?