When I was sixteen years old I left school and got sucked up in the threatening world of drugs that nearly plunged my world into an irreparable wreck. It was as if I watched helplessly as my life was turning into rubble or rather watching a nightmare that was my life.
Slowly my life veered from a good background down to a dangerously sudden doom. I was screaming at the top of my lungs to no avail because my vocal cords would not permit me. I tried to suppress the rage that was constantly lurking in me trying to find expression. I perhaps tried to remain strong but I failed because my wobbly knees would not carry me anymore form the wounds of the past.
The once sprightly young boy had turned into a vicious young man with a heart for revenge. Consequently I found solace in drugs in order to heal from my treacherous wounds, without knowledge that my life was turning into a real nightmare. All the dreams and aspirations I had, and still hoped I would achieve miraculously again, had been washed away by waves of despondency and self-doubt. Amidst the troubles that seemed to sway me, a faint light of hope kept flickering in the dusty rooms of my soul, that one day I will regain my lost dreams and would definitely put my life into a new perspective.
I sat down silently underneath a shady tree, from the scorching sun, and tried to envision how my life would have turned out if I resisted the malicious temptation of smoking and selling drugs. I guess I wanted quick wealth at the time and got involved in selling drugs. School and books held no appeal to me.
I still recall vividly the angelic sweet voice of my mother as she sternly warned me against dropping out of school to chase oblivion instead of dreams and passions. Inspired by one of our neighbour’s daughter who was now a university graduate, my mother tried hard to fuel me into working hard and getting good grades at school. On the contrary I did not listen to any of her warnings.
I could not understand why I needed to go to school whereas I could make quick bucks from simply selling drugs to make a living. I loathed reading and doing homework after school. To add to my woes, my teacher once spluttered, on my face, that I was never going to make it in life and I would definitely remain a wretched young boy who kept wondering in life. The words came forcibly down on me that I had to succumb to their weight.
I remained with a bruised ego. I could feel negative emotions flank me, self-doubt, anger and hatred was the order of the day for me. Finally, I found solace in drugs because momentarily I could forget all of my problems. Drugs just numbed the pain I felt inside and never really extracting the thorn that caused the pain. However I felt much better temporarily.
Silently I watched the pellucid skies and tried to recollect my thoughts and try to think about this new world I wanted to live in, this new world filled with peace and joy. This new world was a new place for me. This new world was filled with limitless opportunities unshrouded by mists of fear and self-doubt. This new world was the world of my dreams.
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