They say it’s an illness

but it does not give me flu

No fevers, no runny noses

I do not suffer scalding body temperatures

They explain to me it’s not an external illness

I’m asked if I hear things that were never said

I’m asked if I see things that were never there

My brother mockingly remarks my room as my prison cell

I’m told my illness is not physical

I do grow anxious around people

I do sleep at night sometimes, but I never really rest

I have memories that I’d give anything to forget

Moreover, my illness affects my thoughts

My mind and body are filing for divorce

I wonder who will take custody of my life

Because my thoughts of suicide had always been rife