Did I lose my feelings, or did I lose my sense of emotions?

I am still searching deep inside my heart

but my mind brings me back to a logical conclusion.

How I long for the feeling of shedding tears.

But my mind won’t let me.

The deep thoughts I seek to trigger my emotions.

All seem to be locked deep in my brain.

All doors shut off.

I guess the knocking manner won’t make no difference.

I guess I am the definition of a heartless human being.

Am I even a human?

All day contemplating and arguing with my thoughts.

What I seek is hard for me to hold onto and yet people around me reach it with no struggle.

Am I that different that I cannot even feel for them…

I also want to feel that moment where we share tears

Where we laugh with our hearts.

I want to feel too

Feel pain, guilt and those negative emotions one have.

I want to sense that insecurities one have even for minute.

I guess I just lost the feeling of emotions.