I’m not suicidal but the circumstances got me thinking about death a lot
I imagine myself burning a coin and laying it on my thigh
Letting it mark me
Letting it be the constant reminder that I’ll never be good enough for your love and acceptance
Letting it be the constant reminder that I’ll never be the perfect child
I imagine myself jumping in front of that train
Letting it squash my bones and maybe my soul could rest
Maybe you’ll see just how much you’re hurting me
Your constant complaints and your constant reminders that I’ll never be enough for you