I knew from the beginning that I am making the wrong choice. I knew that she was not a good person, but I chose her instead. Her behaviour is manipulating me into staying with her in this relationship, we have kids yes I know. Every time I want to leave, she’s telling me that I will never see my kids again. She’s only nice to me when we are around friends and family, but when we are together she’s treating me bad. The other thing that’s making me stay with her is because we look like the perfect couple and perfect family around people. The worst thing is that my family loves her and approves of our relationship. They don’t know what suffering she’s causing me. The day I allowed us to stay together is turning into regrets. I regret everything about this relationship.

I dated a good woman while I was in this relationship, but I didn’t appreciate her. She didn’t have a good job, I think I was embarrassed by that. How can I introduce her to my friends with the kind of job she’s working. The kind of woman I always wanted was someone with a good job, you know the successful woman. The woman who owns a car and a house, someone who doesn’t depend on me for money. I saw this good woman as a waste of time, what is she going to bring to the table? I don’t gain anything by being in a relationship with her.

I didn’t know that a person doesn’t have to bring material things to a relationship. The respect and love they bring, it’s worth more than anything. Now I have the kind of woman I always wanted, but I feel empty inside. Every day I have lots of regrets, but I brought this on myself. I took granted and advantage of this good woman because I knew how much she loved me. Now I am stressed and depressed because of my wrong choices.

How can I apologise to her, I have hurt her so much. I wish I knew things will turn out this way. I would have appreciated her with the little things she has. It’s not her fault that things are not working out for her, but I took that chance to use it against her. Always blaming her for her misfortune in my life. Now I am even embarrassed to come in contact with her, because of what I did to her. I can’t even face her because of my suffering. I wish I knew better than to listen to my family’s advice. They told me not to leave the mother of my children. I sacrificed my happiness and they don’t see my suffering.

Playing happy family is what I am doing now but deep inside I am hurting. What will I tell my children when they grow up about my relationship with their mother? Aren’t they going to see me as stupid for sacrificing my happiness for them? Are they going to see me as a hero for being through what I am going through now? Are they going to be proud of me for staying in an unhappy relationship?

Am I not old enough to make my own decisions? Why do I have to let my family do that for me? Maybe I am afraid they will disown me. Why do I have to let this woman manipulate me? I love my children, I will always support and be the father to them. I wish there was an easy way out.