I’m really sorry Baby , I regret letting you go and breaking your heart can we give this a try one more time ( makes puppy eye’s) He says. I internally role my eyes ” Fine I forgive you ” foolish me says.

Let me take you back to what really happened. My name is Owokuhle Mkholwa , A 24 year old babe whose currently a receptionist at a 5 star hotel. Well this is Mandla my 3 years boyfriend who left me so broken hearted when he broke things off with me a year ago( Gosh I’ve never been so broken). I really didn’t take our break up well cause I was really confused as to what lead him to breaking things off, One minute we were so okey than the next his had enough of me. I don’t know why I love this guy so much cause a few months ago I was the very same girl who was doing all her best to be her self again and who swore to never love again but here I am , foolish me allowing the same man who broke me completely ( Sighss ) Aurg love is blind but don’t judge me guys until you experience or be in the same place as me ( loving someone whole heartedly).

Insert 1

Its been a 4 week since I’ve given Mandla a try again in our relationship. So far his been the best, very loving and caring ( But isn’t it still early for me to judge cause that’s how relationships are at start ). Each morning I start my day with a very sweet text which todays reads:

Goodmorning to my beautiful sweet face, hope you slept well . Have yourself a day as beautiful as you, I love you Kuhle ( heart emoji ) oh and I’m taking you out tonight, be ready @6pm

Immediately I feel butterflies fill my stomach, I get up and take a quick shower and join my roommate at our sitting room.

Kuhle: Goodmorning Roommie

Roommie : Morning baby , ulale kahle?( sleptwell)

Kuhle : yes girl

Roommie: aike that’s good , let’s have our breakfast, I made eggs and bacon

Kuhle: Mhhh yummie , let’s dig in girl

Roommie: girl you seem to be in a good mood , dont tell me its that Mandla guy again

Kuhle: it him babe, his really trying to mend his mistake, he’s changed I tell you

Roommie: kuhle I love you mina sis so I’ll be very honest and speak my heart out to you. Please be open minded about this I’m really not trying to sound jealous and all but don’t allow him to deceive you again, what he did a year ago he can still do it again, we all know that Mandla never allows a skirt to pass him , his a manwhore

Kuhle: you sound so pathetic right now, I really can’t believe you ( laughs ) but ke what was i thinking ,you’ve never been happy for me busy acting like jesus and judging the poor guy, atleast his trying ( stands up and attempts to leave)

Roommie: kuhle I’m warning you as a friend but ke you know what carry on girl ,Carry on I give up

Kuhle : atleast his taking me out tonight, wena Your so called boyfriend is always busy, you’re the same as those single ladies out there. You know what I’ve just lost my appetite( walks out )

Roommie : (Laughs ) Wow kuhle wow!!!! People in love are so funny hey , one minute she was crying her eyes out but now usekanje !

I really can’t believe my roommate just said that, like why is she acting like jesus or a saints meanwhile she has her own shanegins in her relationship. Let me just look for something I’ll be wearing at night when I go out. I stand and open my clothing cupboard and scan my clothes till I my eyes land on this yellow sexy dress, I decide to go with it and my small block heels and a black small handbag. I decided to go take another hot bath just to destress before leaving . Few hours later I’m done and ready to go, I take a look of myself in the mirror and wow I’m really stunning. I take an uber and go to where we supposed to meet up. 1hour later my date hasn’t shown up and I’m starting to panic, so I decide to call Mandla and guess what it leads me straight to voicemail and immediately I feel tears threatening to fall down my cheeks, ” What if I’m stood up ,Noo No noo it can’t be, He loves me right” I say internally. I gather myself and try to call him again but this time it rings unanswered. A waiter shows up again for the 3rd time

Waiter: mam you sure you still don’t wanna order anything?

Kuhle : can I get some wine please , make it a whole bottle

Waiter : coming right up


waiter: here’s your bottle mam , if you need anything else please call me

Kuhle : Thank you ( fake smiles while wiping tears )

Waiter : I know it’s none of my business, but what ever it is that you’re going through it shall pass don’t be hard on yourself

And just like that the waiter walks away. I gulp the whole bottle down and in no time I’m done, I stand up and pay and I leave . Right now I’m feeling a bit tipsy for my liking . I get home and change into my pjays than watch a movie while eating from my icecream tup. Gosh I can’t believe he really stood me up without even explaining, I just wasted my time and energy honestly. Just as I’m in my thoughts my roommate walks in and looks at me than passes without saying a word. Well I get why ,I was an ass in the morning, all the things I said weren’t nice and now where do I get the courage to apologize to her whilst I’m so hurt , just than I just pour my heart out and cry silently. Without even realizing it I feel arms around me and when I look up it Anita my roommate

Rommie : its okey baby girl, musa ukukhala ( dont cry )

I don’t know how one remains so sweet even after everything I said to her. Her embracing me at this moment just makes me more emotionally.

Kuhle: ( wipes tears ) I’m really sorry Annie friend ,it was…

Rommie : its okey kuhle babe, that’s a thing of the past. What I want to know is why are you crying like this, what happened?

Kuhle : He stood me up oe ( crys ) and what hurts the most is that he didn’t even bother to text or call letting me know we should cancel , I was the biggest clown today at that restaurant waiting 2hours just to be ditched. It hurts to say I really regret not listening to you, if only I didnt invest so much feelings then I wouldn’t be here. The funniest part is he didn’t even bother to answer when I called

Rommie : let’s not make things up maybe something happened to him , let’s call him using my phone then see if he will answer

And just like that Anita dailed Mandla’s number and at the second ring a female answered the call. ” Mandla’s phone hellow” said the lady on the other line. I couldn’t believe it ,words than failed to come out.

Rommie : hey girl can I speak to Mandla , its work related

” alright hold on, Mandla Babee your colleague wants to speak to you ” there was shuffling because of the exchange of phones.

Mandla: hellow…

Rommie : Mandla why?

Mandla : I don’t get you now, whose this?

Rommie : Its me Anita , Kuhles roommie

Why did you do it? ( I snatched the phone )

Kuhle: what have I ever done to you for you to constantly cause so much havoc in my life? Mandla why toy with my feelings , I’m human you know and I also have a heart , one that breaks

Mandla : eyy eyy eyy Kuhle just be a lady and accept that there will never be us, you were just a bet made between me and the boys. Me wanting you back was just me proving to them that I still have some sort of effect over you and guess what I won the bet. Now be a big girl and accept that its over again , kumi it never even began again, I really don’t love you, Respect yourself kuhle and never settle for less. If i was you i would’ve never gotten back with myself with the way i had left you, I’m sorry but not sorry that i stood you up. Life goes on you’ll find a true sincere guy. Please stop calling me and asking your Rommie to call me ,get the message i don’t wanna speak to you the first time you called with your tens….

And just like that I felt my heart break break break into tiny little pieces. I’m not even sure this could ever be mended this time again. As I was about to speak Mandla drops the call and my hands are shaking so badly I can’t even face my roommate, this time I’m extremely embarrassed and I think I might even die from embarrassment at this very moment. Something strange is happening to my heart ,oh lord what is this feeling, what has love done to me. At this point I’m pretty sure I want nothing to do with boys. Just then my roommate hugs me

Roommie: its okey babe , Heyy look at me ,Mandla is a Dog and each Dog has its day. Dont let his words get to you, you are beautiful, smart , independent and definitely a dream to someone

Kuhle : if only I listened to you. You know now I feel so stupid and cheap. I feel like I’ve once again sold my soul to depression, that dark hole again and this time arround I doubt I’ll make it out, Goodnight

Roommie : Hey don’t do something stupid, we gonna fight this brokenheart and depression.

Kuhle : at this point I think I might loose

I left the sitting room to my bedroom and sat on my bed staring into space. Where did I really go wrong with this love thing? Why am I played so badly ( cries ) . I stand up and opened Vuma FM and they were playing Un-break my heart by toni braxton ( What a coincidence ) . Just then I closed my eyes and let everything sink in . From being all defensive about him to him portraying me as the Biggest Clown to the world, Where exactly did I go wrong?

I guess I should really just love myself and love will come along maybe just when I don’t expect it. Did I really unbreak the brokenness to be broken so badly again, Love has truely broken me .