I tried so hard to make you stay. I didn’t even notice that I was slowly losing my self. I tried so hard to look like the girls that were your type or you always said they are hot. I wanted you to stay so bad that I didn’t even realize that I’m giving away a part of me that I will never get it back.

It’s so funny how I loved you even though you kept on doing things that you knew exactly that they would hurt my feelings. You became a destruction in my life and I was taught alot of lessons through you. Was I blind or did I love you too Much? You were like a toxic drug or pain tablets that I was so addict to a point I could live without them.

Was I doing too much? I can feel my heart break and it sounds like a glass that is thrown on the floor. My precious heart, it’s how you stomped over and over it without even thinking twice and claimed that you love me. When is this going to end? When will I get my happily ever after?

I tried so hard to fix you, knowing very well that I will be the one that will be left to attend therapy. I took that risk and it almost landed me in coma. You look so happy with her, maybe she’s the girl you have always wanted. My heart is at peace with the fact that you don’t want me, wait, no my heart is at peace with the fact that you hate me.

This is the letter I’m writing to the love of my life, who turned out to be my greatest, toughest, painful lesson. I tried everything in my power to make you stay.

Although you have hurt me to a point I got admitted into a mental institution, I’m writing this letter on my death bed wishing you were next to me, wishing you really loved me and wishing you will reciprocate my love for you even after death. Stay with me as I might be taking my last breath.

If you are feeling depressed or suicidal, please know that there is help out there and you can get better. Reach out to SADAG counselling 0800 567 567 (toll-free counselling between 8am and 8pm) or their   Suicide Crisis Line: 0800 567 567. You are not alone.