Have you ever felt like no one wants you or everyone hates you for just being yourself, that’s how my life has been like, growing up I always felt isolated like I didn’t belong. I always had to pretend to be happy when I’m around people but all the hurt, sadness and unhappiness would come back like floods when I’m alone.

Life is better when you have someone in your corner someone you can rely on, I had my mom I was happy I knew I could count on her and I knew I could rely on her for everything, I could tell her everything and anything without being judged or rediculed, she was my sister, my best friend, my guide, my support system most importantly she was my mom but soon my life came crushing down when she passed away.

I couldn’t handle it I suffered alone I was in my own world and I was in disbelief that she’s gone for the longest time I didn’t want to believe that my best friend is gone forever and I would never see her again, I wanted to follow her to where she went with many attempts I didn’t succeed at that I missed her very much I would hear her voice laughing I thought I was going crazy I would see her face and smile not knowing I was just imagining her the grief was written all over my face.

I would cry every night knowing I’m home in an empty house without her I would cry my eyes out until I would fall asleep, many times I would be scared to be home alone and I couldn’t even sleep so I found ways to cope I started drinking I would have a bottle of vodka on my pillow before I sleep I would take 2 or 3 shots then sleep that escalated very quickly I started drinking heavely I couldn’t cope without drinking.

My best friend was gone I still can’t believe that she’s gone, it’s been 5 years now but it still feels like yesterday that I saw her, where can I find a person like her in this life someone who would take where she left off life is hard without her mostly I wish I could trade places with her I would sometimes wish I could just hear her voice again or just hear her laughter.

My best friend is gone I will forever love and miss you my angel.