I am a writer
Growing up as a child I always struggled to share or express my thoughts and feelings. I would sit quietly in my room, my mind full of words I can say aloud but somehow the words just couldn’t come out only tears would roll down my cheeks when I am sad or upset ,that’s when my mom will realize that something is bothering me and she will be so mad at me that I don’t talk it out or cry out aloud because I also cried silent.
I was a rare child indeed my mom would say “how could a child hide their emotions and keep it all in the heart ?” And Continue jokingly “one day those emotions and voices inside your head they’ll choke you to death” she would try to fake a laugh and say “ng’yadlala”.
That line hit me ” Those voices inside your head will choke you to death” .”voices” ok , I thought to myself I can turn those voices into words. I realized perhaps I talk to myself more than I talk to them.
A day came when I lost my dad now I was a little grown ,I was 11years old in grade5. It was this incident that led me to take a pen and my diary and I wrote it all down ,how I felt ,the confusion the anger ,all the emotions I let it all out in the diary and believe me you they all tried to comfort me with words and all but writing was what made me feel better and calm.
I comforted myself through writing and guess what ? I found myself laughing out loud or cry out loud in writing my voice inner voice could come out!
That is how writing became my hobby.a pen and a paper became my best friends,words would visit me anytime even when I was taking a walk on a park and see something I would turn it into lyrics or poem. GOSH I just realized
I am a writer
Even now as I am writing all of this down there are so many words in my mind scattered all over somehow making a bluesy sound ,I can see them slowly gathering themselves alphabet by alphabet I see I,A,M another A then W,R,I,T, and another R. Then the other alphabets just vanish, then I take the ones left and put them together and they read