Same book, new chapter, new pages. The last chapter was a difficult one. Not that I expect easy ones. But I was on the treadmill for a long time. I’ve been fighting. I’ve been struggling. At times I’ve been lost, just wandering through my life in phases. I don’t expect life to be easy. I’m quite sentimental through this pages.

I don’t wanna lie I’ve been defeated. Running through miles off of marathons. My soul has been kept quiet for so long. I’m not the same person I was. I’m growing and evolving. Leaving behind me all the burdens of my past and looking forward to the weight of my future. I am barely making it out here. I’m being suffocated by my own dreams. It’s too big to handle. The responsibility of taking on so many things at once is just shambolic. I know it’s only testing times right now. Just trying to find my feet in this life.

And I’ve been hanging on this dear hope for my whole life. Faith is my stronghold but lately I’ve been losing the battles. Never afraid to fight but I’m tired right now. Not physically but mentally and emotionally. I am angry. I am sad. I am frustrated. I am concerned. I am confused. I never knew my young adult life would be like this. Messy and gullible.

I do have hope that my life will be better. If it’s not now, then maybe a little later. I have dreams. I have plans. I have motivations. I am never afraid to put myself through a battle.

It’s now 23 years. Well so I guess. Never the one to celebrate my birthdays. But I guess this year will be different. I’m trying. I guess I will be more happy this year.

Enjoy Jonathan