Nandi stood up. She had been waiting at the station for quite a long time. Long enough to have played out every memory she had ever had of Philane in her head. In the past, every thought of him had been the sweetest thing. If only she could stop herself from remembering how things had ended between them. If only she could go back and rewrite the last five months, and give all those memories a happy ending.

Nandi took a step forward, out from the shade of the platform seats, and into the sun. It was winter, and Nandi felt cold right to the core of her being. She shut her eyes, and turned her face up into the wintry sunshine.

There weren’t many people on the station platform. It was nearly lunch time. Most people had already caught the train to work, and all the school children were in class at school. Nandi should have been in class as well.

Today, Nandi had skipped school. She’d left the house in her tracksuit pants, and her large blue jacket, zipped up. She’d left after her mother, and she had not even been concerned that anyone would see her. No-one would have cared anyway.

Nandi took one more step forward, towards the railway track. She paused, and looked down at her shoes. One more memory, she thought to herself, just one more memory of Philane.

Nandi closed her eyes, and there he was again, dancing with her, just there, along the edges of her eyelashes. Smiling and laughing at her. I will even allow him one last kiss, Nandi thought to herself.

Standing there on the platform, in the winter sunshine, Nandi could even have sworn that she could feel Philane’s lips on hers. It only lasted a second, and then it was gone.

Gone, like his smile. Gone, like the feel of his hands, touching her beneath her clothes. Gone, like all the pleasure he had given her, and the love, and the laughter.

Nandi knew the truth would come flooding over her if she let it, like some giant tidal wave. The truth was a giant wave of nausea and pain. Pain, like the pain she had felt when Philane had slapped her hard across the face, when she had told him the truth.

Nandi pushed her hands deeper into her pockets. Her fingers found the folded piece of paper, and she clutched it tightly. It was a square of lined foolscap paper, with a flowing name and number written across it with a ball point pen. As she touched the paper a small flutter of something like hope stirred inside her. But it was not enough.

Nandi looked up. She heard the train before she saw it. It sounded loud and metallic and heavy as it rushed towards her along the track. This train would not be stopping; it was picking up speed and rushing on to some other station along the line.

Nandi took five more steps towards the end of the platform that dropped down onto the two parallel lines of metal railway tracks. Nandi stopped at the edge. She looked down at her shoes, and thought how neat they were, so polished and cared for. Her toes were in line with the edge of the platform.

Nandi looked up, and turned her head to the right. Even though her eyes were filling with tears, she could see the train coming, hurtling at full speed, towards her.

***

Tell us what you think: Why did Nandi walk to the edge of the platform? What has happened between her and Philane?