Nandi felt the force of the passing train rock her as it rushed passed. She stood motionless, and felt the wind around her stop swirling. It was still again. She stepped back, and then slowly walked back to her seat on the platform. She saw a young woman looking at her and frowning worriedly, but she didn’t say anything.

Nandi sat down. It wasn’t long before her train pulled slowly to a stop, and Nandi stood up and got on. She walked down the compartment and found herself a window seat. She leaned her cheek against the cold glass of the window, and watched the train station rushing by. It would be a long ride to her destination.

Nandi wondered what her friends were getting up to at school. She looked out of the window and was soon lost in daydreams.

“Sipho! Sit down!” Nandi was imagining her Maths class. Sipho always gave the teacher such a hard time. “Go and sit with Nandi! She will help you.” That’s what her teacher always used to say. Nandi had always helped Sipho with his Maths. Maths had never been difficult for Nandi, and yet even her best friend Ntombi had always struggled with it.

“Hey Nandi,” Ntombi would always say at break time, “Do my homework for me. I’ll never get these sums right.”

Nandi had done those sums in a flash. Even Philane had been impressed. In fact, everything about Nandi had impressed him. In the beginning.

“I love you Nandi,” he had said, when he took her down to the trees, the very first time.

Nandi stopped daydreaming and opened her eyes. Another train station was rushing by. She still had a long way to go. She closed her eyes and started daydreaming again.

Nandi had been very impressed by Philane in return. He was very experienced, and he had told her he would take care of everything.

“You just do everything that I tell you to do, sweet Nandi,” he had told her, as she lay with him, amongst the leaves, down amongst the trees. Her heart had been racing, faster than the train. “Nothing bad is going to happen to you. I love you.”

I trusted you Philane, thought Nandi for the thousandth time, as the train pulled into her station.

Even Ntombi had said it would be all right. She had been going with boys for ages already.

“What’s wrong with you?” she’d asked, when Nandi confided in her about Philane wanting her to go all the way. “There’s nothing to it. It’s gonna just make him love you more.”

I trusted you Ntombi, thought Nandi, as she walked up the train platform, and began to climb the stairs of the pedestrian bridge over the railway line. Nandi reached the top and walked to the middle. She stopped and stood to the side, letting all the other commuters pass her by.

I miss you so much, Ntombi, thought Nandi, turning her back to the people walking past, and looking over the edge of the bridge, down onto the railway tracks, passing beneath her. A train roared along the line under her, and she watched it go.

At least Ntombi had kept her promise. She hadn’t told anyone, yet. Nandi felt grateful for that. But Ntombi no longer spent any time with her either. Since Nandi had confided in her, Ntombi had moved away, to sit with another group of friends at break. The only thing she had even said when Nandi told her was:

“I’ve got enough troubles of my own, girlfriend, and that’s the truth.”

Nandi gripped the railings of the bridge with both hands, and put one foot up on the crossbar. She knew she could haul herself up onto the top of the bridge railing with one big heave. The sun had gone under a cloud, and Nandi looked down onto the tracks, and waited.

***

Tell us what you think: Why has Ntombi stopped being Nandi’s friend? What do you think Nandi is feeling as she stands on the bridge?