Losing his job had no negative effect on Speedkop. He kept on living his life as if he still had his job; waking up in the morning as if he was off to work and not telling his family anything about being laid off. Speedkop didn’t have a backup plan so he spent his days drinking with his buddies in different spots in and around Mashona. Things didn’t get interesting until he started hanging out with the people he used to drink with at the bar right next to his old work place. Speedkop had some money to spend because his old company gave him a severance cheque hoping he wouldn’t try to take them to the CCMA.

The people Speedkop started hanging out with full time, while maintaining the lie at home, made it easier for him to excel because they spoke his language. These people introduced Speedkop to a different lifestyle, a lifestyle he had once heard of before he had a family. This was a life of paying money for call girls. They did this at Springs Hotel. Speedkop decided to get involved, but just like any Mashona descendant would have done Speedkop overshot it on his first try. He almost lost all of his money after getting stuck with his and his buddies’ entire bill. His so-called friends initially tried to scam him but they eventually came to his aid and let him off the hook.

After the close call at Springs Hotel, Speedkop vowed never to spend another moment of his life with those people. But he couldn’t stay home either so he decided that the smartest thing to do was to go to one of Mashona’s deadliest bars – Titanic.

Titanic was an infamous bar in Sindane Street. It was known for being the hot spot for some of the worst people ever to come out of Mashona. Speedkop was safe in Titanic because he knew no one would dare tell his wife that he was there instead of at work. The people in Titanic didn’t care about him.

It was at Titanic that Speedkop met his old Sunday school teacher, Mr Mkhwanazi, and they got to talking about life.

“Tell me about it! I was fired not long ago from a decent job, it put bread on the table and I got fired for what? For nothing!” said Speedkop as he chugged his glass of whiskey.

“That’s too bad Mshengu; I too have nothing to call my own,” replied Mr Mkhwanazi.

Speedkop refilled his glass, took a sip then asked, “What do you reckon the Creator makes of our situation?”

“My son, God left this place a long time ago,” said Mr Mkhwanazi hopelessly.

Speedkop nodded. Before they knew it, they were finishing off an entire bottle of whiskey.

Mr Mkhwanazi was going through a rough patch. It had been 15 years since they had seen each other and in that gap Mr Mkhwanazi had lost his wife to a younger man and his children wanted nothing to do with him. Recently he had lost his job as a taxi marshal when he was caught stealing loose change. Now he sat in Titanic with his old student. Mr Mkhwanazi felt as though his fate was tied to Speedkop’s.

“Mshengu, I know who is responsible for our lives turning into a pile of dirt – just follow me and I will solve all your problems.”

Speedkop bought two beers and they left. Mr Mkhwanazi took him to their old church.

“Mshengu, this is the person responsible for our troubles. We must tell him to get off our backs so we can soar like eagles in the sky.”

“I have something better in mind,” said Speedkop, who proceeded to take a leak at the gate.

Mr Mkhwanazi took it a step further by defecating on the church doorstep and they both cussed out the people in church who were praying. Finally, they cursed the Lord, forever renouncing their faith.


Tell us: Why do you think Speedkop didn’t tell his family that he had been fired and instead went to bars and drank with his friends?