At least now I know why everybody back home is acting the way they have been. The pain and the hurt is lessened by the channel from which you receive the blow… I think I read that somewhere, or I just made it up…I don’t think I would hurt so much if dad would’ve told me. I wouldn’t have even minded I think; but to find out like this?

For one’s business to be smeared all over the social networks and worse, by one’s nemesis, is downright cruel. It’s so bad that I deactivated my Facebook account. To be greeted by posts about “The fall of the Zwane’s” just when you are stoked about getting you face out there.

That is what everyone is blogging about. How my dad made bad investments and my mom is drinking herself into a stupor because dad cleaned her out. And that’s why we ran. Apparently my parents are getting a divorce because of this. And I’m the last one to know. You spend a week away from the social networks and the world turns on you. I feel like Oscar Pretorius.

I’ll never get over this.

How will I adjust to a different lifestyle? I can see it now, I’ll have to wear the cheap stuff, probably sell my clothes and accessories just to get by. Oh God my handbags. This is torture. I’ve never been poor before. I don’t know how to be poor.

This is new low, even for Kate and I despise her for it. I feel depressed. Just when I thought life was getting better it gets worse, ten times worse. I confronted mom and she acted like I should’ve known, the signs were there and I shouldn’t act so surprised. She even had the gall to act wounded like she was the one affected the most.

And dad, I can’t speak to him. I hate him. He should’ve told me, I would’ve understood. The betrayal is what sickens me. My parents think so little of me.

I SMSed Sebastian and told him I was mugged and that I’ll see him tomorrow. I need to get out of this house, away from these liars and conspirators. I’m broke now, so I must celebrate. I’m gonna party like there’s no tomorrow.

ZZ xxx