Well, I presume that by my long unannounced absence, you have already guessed what happened to me. No, it was nothing that tragic (though some people really hoped I’d fallen off a cliff!). Yep, I took a vacation. I left and went to PE and I have been having great fun.

How could you do that Zinzi?

Simple. I packed my bags, loaded them in my car and drove and I took a road trip on the coastline; did the garden route tour and it was amazing. It took me two weeks but I eventually got here. I had an amazing drive and I’m feeling so refreshed and regenerated that I’m thinking of extending my vacation to just go somewhere else.

What about Sebastian?

Well, he’s alive; presumably well from the sounds of it. I couldn’t really be bothered. And NO! I will not explain myself to you or anybody else! I talk to him every now and then (more than once a day; the guy is obsessed) and we are fine. But I’ll tell you the same thing I told him. I’M ON VACATION! That means no obsession with social networks; just the basic calling and texting like people did in the old days, and no hectic relationship squabbles. Bliss.

What about us? You left without a word. Why should we be loyal to you?

Well…you don’t really want me to answer that, do you? I suppose I do owe you some apology in one form or another. Sorry (especially to Moosa, I know you were worried sick…giggles). You won’t get anything more than that.

So what now?

Well, part of me just leaving like I did was because I needed to get away. I needed to regroup and rethink this whole ‘good girl’ story. And truth be told, it ain’t working; you know it and I know it. I’m tired of living up to everybody’s expectations. I try to do what’s right and I’m never right. I do something slightly off tune and I’m condemned to hell.

Well I’ve had it.

No more Miss Nice Girl. How would you feel if every decision you made was not good enough? Who am I living for anyway? Sebastian? My parents’ approval? Friends? Opinions from total strangers? Who am I trying to please?

I’m done with all that! I learned one thing on my way here and that is I can’t please everybody. I should focus on myself and on what makes me happy (as was pointed out to me by an old woman chef at the Garden Route Game Reserve where I stayed for a week… but that’s another story) before I try focusing on anyone else.

So here’s the thing: I don’t know what will happen to Sebastian and I when I’m back… and I don’t want to think about it. I have a full month before school starts and I vowed to myself that I will not think of anything troublesome. I just want to enjoy my vacation and just be me.

So, reader dear, I will keep you posted twice a week. You can consider this post number one!

Haha!

ZZ xxx