Today is the last Sunday of the month. I’m finishing my exams on Friday and I can’t freaken wait. I know I’m gonna pass, I’m not worried. It’s natural to be nervous. My dad said that today. He says he would be more nervous if I wasn’t nervous. He called to check on how I was.
He wants us to go down to PE for the holidays. I would love to but I’m not sure. I mean I miss him, I really do. But I don’t think I can leave while my relationship is shaky. I don’t even know why we are fighting so much. I went out with my ex for one evening and now my boyfriend is weird on me.
I wish he could just come out and say it, “I don’t trust you Zee and I think you slept with your ex!”
Well he wouldn’t say it like that, Sebastian doesn’t use profanity. It was rubbing off me nicely but now he’s gone and pissed me the hell off. I wish he could just tell me how he feels. It would be easier to work it out and move on.
I never thought of him as a typical guy. He’s more of a lover than a fighter, sensitive, sweet, considerate. But the one quality I love the most is his ability to tell you how he feels about something, in a nice way. He wouldn’t keep it to himself, ever. But now I don’t know.
If he continues with his confusing vibes then I will go to PE, I will leave him without consideration and just go breathe with my dad. Honestly when he calls again, if he calls again, I’ll tell him my dad suggested we go. His reaction will be the determining factor.
I’m done playing games.