Yes, ladies and gentleman, I was bullied in high school. Welcome to Sicelo’s world!
Anyways, my bully was some gigantic guy from Mitchells Plain with big-ass hands and feet. This guy tormented the whole school without even a bit of mercy. This went on until he was finally expelled in 2008, when I was in Grade 11.
Imagine my shock, then, when I read on Facebook earlier this year that this guy’s new friends think he’s a “sweet” guy. I couldn’t believe it.
I would’ve preferred to see it for myself, but I ended up asking someone who lives near his house. And it turned out that the guy had really changed. He’d stopped all those bad habits that made him famous in our school. Instead, he’d chosen to be known for his work as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses.
And so this week’s title should’ve probably been: #Fact: My bully changed into a sweet guy!
Apparently, even Oprah believes that people change for the better. On her show, she made it pretty clear that no one should be judged for what they did when they were younger. A twenty-year-old person, for example, shouldn’t be judged for mistakes they made in their teens. The same is true for a thirty-year-old person, because they shouldn’t be judged for the mistakes they made in their twenties.
But is it that easy?
Can we really just accept that a person is in a new chapter of their lives and forget the bad things they used to do?
I mean, look at my high school bully, for example. This guy used to rough up anyone he thought was weaker than him. He’d come over every day and tell one of us to bring him money the next day or forget about being safe during lunch time. He’d roll up paper balls in class and throw them at our heads when we weren’t looking. And last but not least, he used to hit us with a belt if we didn’t buy him lunch every Friday.
That’s the kind of guy I used to go to school with.
So, as his victims, are we just supposed to accept that he’s changed, and move on?
Well, I’ll tell you: the answer isn’t easy – at all.
But ask yourself one thing: if you’ve made mistakes now as a fifteen-year-old; a seventeen-year-old; or even a twenty-year-old, would you still want to be judged for those mistakes five years down the line from now?
If there’s a guy you beat up, a girl you gossiped about, a parent you disrespected, would you want to be judged for those mistakes even when you’ve learned from them?
Well, talk to me.
#ChatBack: Tell me whether you believe that people change.
And if they do, should we forget about who they used to be and focus on who they are now?