“And the master of all coconuts has arrived! His English is so good that it makes English professors read dictionaries just to understand him.”

That’s what, Thando, a guy I know in Philippi, says nowadays when I go to his place. Of course, my English isn’t as good as he says it is, but what I really can’t understand is why he calls me a coconut.

I’ve asked him a couple of times why he calls me that and he usually gives the same reason.

“Kalok’ (Because), my brother, your English comes straight from America and England.”

He always tells me, of course, that it’s not a bad thing and I should take it as a compliment.

Is this guy crazy?

Who would take being called a coconut as a compliment?

Or is it a compliment?

Ever since I first heard the word back in 2010, it has only had a bad meaning – until now, that is. When you were called a coconut it usually meant that people thought you’d forgotten your Xhosa culture and were, instead, trying to be American or something.

But apparently 2014 has given it a new meaning.

So according to this new meaning, what type of people are coconuts?

Well, according to Thando, it’s anyone who’s uses big words and has got a fancy-sounding English accent.

But for two other people I spoke to, though, this isn’t the end of the story.

One of those people is Nosicelo, a friend of mine, who’s convinced that it’s not just about sounding fancy and knowing a bunch of big words. She believes that anyone who likes speaking English and is also really good at writing is a coconut.

Another guy I spoke to believes that it means something completely different. To be honest, I was very surprised by what this guy had to say. According to him, coconuts are young Kasi guys or Kasi chicks that don’t speak any Tsotsi-taal (slang), but, instead, speak too much Xhosa with each other. In other words, this guy thought I was a coconut, because I always spoke Xhosa with him and no Tsotsi-taal even though I’m from Philippi.

I would definitely not blame you for also being as confused as I was when I was trying to figure this entire thing out.

I mean, how did we go from saying that a coconut is a Xhosa who is trying to be American, to saying that a coconut is a young Xhosa guy / girl who speaks too much Xhosa and no Tsotsi-taal to other Kasi people?

Well, you’d be surprised to find that the people who’ve said all of this believe that what they’ve said makes total sense.

For me, though, this all makes me wonder whether we should even care about what it means.

Maybe being called a coconut is only a bad thing if you think it is.

Take “cheese-boy” for example. When I was still in high school, being called a cheese-boy meant that you lived in the suburbs and you were trying to forget that you were Xhosa. You were basically considered a snob. But nowadays, however, being a cheese-boy has become a likeable thing. It now means that you are the guy with all the money, the chicks and the swag.

So maybe we should also come together and take the power back from those who’ve called us coconuts. Maybe we should form a Facebook group called “The Coconut Group” and talk about finding “coconut” a likeable meaning, because it doesn’t seem as if they’ll stop calling us that any time soon.

So talk to me, then.

Tell me what you think it means to be a coconut.

Can we give it a good meaning or does it only have a bad one?

And isn’t it actually a bad thing to call people names?

Winner of this blog is ff0000*..*0000ff._*aB*_.-ff0000*..* for her comment: I don’t feel like its a bad thing although some people may mean it as an insult. I get called a coconut a lot just because I speak english most of the time and I twang a little but think about it Is it a bad thing? We live in a world where you have to speak english on a daily basis just to get heard It’s really not about forgetting your culture ngoba ndyintombi yomXhosa but I speak English because I get taught by a white, coloured , muslim teacher, My librarian is coloured, the cashier at the supermarket it coloured , the shop assistant cannot speak Xhosa, my boss is white my classmates are coloured and so on. I guess the point im trying to make is that it’s about being civilised thats not that Xhosa is not civilised but I need other people to understand What im saying.