At last the morning finally came. Yesterday this morning seemed like it would never come, yesterday this morning seemed like a month. Last night seemed like a week but finally it was the morning of the day the twins would arrive.
I imagined what they could be doing at that moment. “Maybe they are taking a bath now, maybe they are brushing their teeth, maybe they are getting dressed now, or maybe even they are on their way now.” I was excited about them coming but so nervous; I thought of what they had been doing and I got even more nervous. I worked hard trying to convince myself what I was feeling was not love. “It’s not love, I mean how can one love someone she does not even know, no way it can’t be.”
I heard a song playing on the radio. Words I caught from that song’s lyrics were: “How do I love you before I know you?” Then I heard something about having a dream in that song’s lyrics. I had heard that song before more than enough times but on that day it was as if it was my first time hearing it. It touched me somewhere in my heart; it was as if the song was telling me that I was fooling myself by telling myself I was not in love. Then I asked myself a question the song was asking: “How do I love him before I know him? If I do love him then which one of the twins do I love? Both of them? No, not both of them just one of them, either of them.” I was hoping that they looked exactly alike – that way it would be fun having them around. “Maybe I’m just excited about the fact that I was going to be around twins. Maybe it’s not love, yeah it’s not love.”
A feeling that came with that thought was a good feeling. I was tired of thinking about the twins I had not even met, twins whom I was suppose to treat like my brothers, same way I treated my cousins. I decided to think about my friends at school. That reminded me that we had four twins at school and I had not even once been this excited about them. Yet again I found myself thinking I was fooling myself by thinking I was not in love. “So this is love?” I thought to myself, “Damn it is so powerful.” The more I was fighting it the stronger it felt. I decided not to fight it. I have been in love with someone I have never met before, oh and I still loved him with every drop of blood I had, and that was God, I could sense his presence. And whenever I prayed I felt strong. The feeling I felt about the twins was almost like that, maybe they were my soul mates. Maybe it was a match made in heaven.
Just when I thought of it and made it look perfect something reminded me that my aunt would never allow it. It would never happen. I was in love with the wrong person in the right way. I could not stop thinking about them no matter how hard I tried. Yes I had been trying, but thinking about them made me feel like I was flying.
I went to take a bath and I forgot to lock the door of the bedroom because we had no bathroom so we used our bedrooms. When I was completely naked my nine year old cousin walked in; he did not knock he just opened the door. He came in laughing as he always laughed but as soon as he realised I was not wearing anything his laugh disappeared immediately. He stared with his mouth wide open. For the first time he wiped his mouth. I stared too for a little while, I wanted to see what he was going to do. He just stared without saying anything or making any move.
“Go play, boy, I’m busy at the moment,” I said. He moved quickly and he went out, looking embarrassed like he just saw something he was not suppose to see. I continued with my bath. I took my eldest cousin’s perfume and I sprayed it over my sexiest dress that was only for special events. I smelled good, I felt good and I knew I was looking good too Everyone was like wow! I was ready for the twins although I was nervous as hell. I could not stop wondering, what will happen when they arrive?