It was hard to always nurse his feelings. I had to make sure I didn’t do or say anything that would remind him of her or the pain he felt. So I held back my own suffering and put it aside for another time…for him.

But I also longed for someone to care for me emotionally, someone to tell my problems to, to share and cry with. I didn’t have friends that I trusted that much since I was a loner. Then came Siya.

He became my cyber boyfriend. We had dated before but we broke up because of the distance. The fact that we have never met was a contributing factor to the break up. At first our relationship didn’t seem wrong. He was in Cape Town and I was in East London and for that same reason it was easy to trust him.

After Siya came Hloni and he was from Bloem. Me and Hloni talked about taking it to the next step and visit each other. But since we were both students, money didn’t allow us to.

Even though I had all the emotional attention, I wanted physical love to.

Aya and I were sexually active but as time went on, I got bored.

Then I met Dumisani. He was a tall soccer player with a nice body. He wanted me and I was thirsty for him. We talked about our situations; he too got a girlfriend and a baby. We decided to take it slow and see where it took us. It was exciting to sneak around. His girlfriend almost caught us twice.

But I started to fall for Dumisani. It got too much for me when I realized I was never gonna be his. He was never going leave his girlfriend to be mine and that hurt.

While I was busy with Dumisani my feelings for Aya slowly faded. I decided to end it with Dumisani before it could get very bad for me. I didn’t want to be caught chasing a guy who couldn’t be with me when I had one who was with me.

After Dumisani I decided no more. I could betray Aya like that anymore. He loved me so much and he didn’t deserve that. So I made up my mind that I’ll quit all this emotional cheating and focus on my man.


Tell us what you think: Are cyber relationships as real as real relationships? Do you consider an emotional relationship with someone else cheating on your partner?