It was my first time, our first night
and we kissed
and I ended up fading in your sheets.
Ever since that night,
every single twelve am of the month
I have the same dream
with you in it or sometimes with a man in black.
He’s faceless but I can feel his touch
and he whispers “you’re my wife”
I acknowledge that this has been
a nightmare for years.
When the clock hits twelve
he’s right here to take what you got from me.
Five years in this marriage
I’m a grown lady now.
The doctor says it’s weird ’cause I’m healthy
but I still can’t have kids.
The healer says I’ve got a spiritual husband.
I swear I have never vowed on any altar
for this type of husband or exchange.
That’s me trying to explain myself
to this real husband of mine.
I wish I could take back that night
’cause I don’t deserve this life.
I never signed up for any spiritual intimacy
it was sent to me and arrived, did it’s job.
See where spirits continue living their deeds,
even after death he still rapes in his eternal sleep.