I hide behind an “It’s ohhkay
Things will go back to normal again” phrase
But deep down I know the spark is no more.
I know there’s nothing left to hold on to.
I know he’s not the same man anymore
But yet I’m too scared to leave.

I’m scared of his reactions when he finds out
That I no longer care.
I’m scared of what he might do if I choose to
Leave and find my sanity again.
I’m scared of what people might say,
I’m scared of being judged and called by names.
So I chose to stay
Even when my heart is shattered with pain
And regrets.

I chose to fake a smile for the world to see
Even when my soul is forever bleeding.
I chose to give them what they wanna see
And believe is precious
Even when my soul is dying.
I chose the easy way out
Even when it’s taking the best of me.

People say I’m his jewel
But they don’t see the bruises beneath the jewel.
Emotional scars are hard to be seen
Unlike physical scars.
Maybe one day my grave will tell stories
Of how I died in his hands.
The shining trophy that everyone admired in his hands
Yet was rusty on the inside.