It’s been ages I suppose, but the pain is still thriving in me
The anger I felt then is still fuming and slowly engulfing me
The rage I feel within is like the fires of hell itself
Unable to be quenched and forever consumes everything
Leaving just a bare shadow of what I used to be
Or perhaps what I looked like outside
I just wish I could let it go and just let it all be
But my rebellious heart doesn’t let me
I spend my days just thinking about the past
Fuelling the fire that slowly consumes me
Allowing the rage I feel to conquer me
Could a man hate his own self that much?
Could a man deprive himself of happiness?
Could he take out the colour from his own light?
Watching helplessly, my ship sinks into the bottom of the abyss
How ironic it is to see the cause of your doom approaching
And yet still do nothing about it
The deafening torture of my past memories hunt me
And my shameful present reality suffocates me
Even though the mere glimpse of my future strengthens me
And gives me the much needed hope to strive on
The shadows of my worthless life deny me what I hunger for
I’m forced to surrender to my own guilt
And let the shame I feel within take over
Oh, if only the Heavens could hear my heart’s cry
As I slowly succumb to my dreadful fate
I spend the rest of my lonely life dreaming
Dreaming of redemption
Of salvation and of peace within my wretched soul
It is very true I suppose
It is very curious to say that within every angel, there’s a devil
Waiting to take over the being and to manifest itself
Well I could say that I learned that the hard way
And yet still I know no peace
I keep looking for a remedy to cure me
But I guess there’s no cure for ignorance
I spend my nights counting the seconds till daybreak
And wishing dear death to seek me in my troubled sleep
I also live out my days with the grim hope of my own end
One might as well call me a dead man walking
For within I was long dead
Dead with all my guilt
The words of a condemned man are thus the words of hope.