(It’s 8:30 a.m. on Monday. Mr C has just finished writing corrections on the board for his congested seventh grade class. He underlines the last answer and turns around to place the memorandum on the small table before him.Two late boys enter the classroom.)
Boys: Morning sir. Sorry we’re late.
Mr C: It’s OK boys. You may get seated.
(They walk to their desks.)
Mr C: Right, here are the corrections for the past week’s assignment. Please make sure you keep them safe because you’ll definitely need them in the future for exam preparation.
(Jane, the well-known inquisitive and disrespectful girl repeating the grade for the 4th time, just walks in without knocking. She ambles to her seat without making eye contact with Mr C.)
Mr C: Hey, old lady! Are you passing a ghost? Where are your manners?
(Jane sits down unshaken.)
Mr C: Hey! Am I talking alone grandma?
Jane: (Roughly chews her gum) Did you just say ‘manners’? Well… Check them inside your dusty boots.
(Students all laugh).
Mr C: What did you just say?
Jane: Shit man! I said I hate snoring.
(The students burst out in laughter).
Mr C: How do you expect your grandkids in this classroom to behave when you act like a chicken? Sies man! And as for that red wig on your bumpy head, well, it makes you a hag!
Jane: And what about your dusty boots, huh? I think it’s time you get a job at a construction site and stop being a nuisance. You’ll suit perfectly plus you don’t have a wife. You clown!
Mr C: Somebody better hold my hands before… I said somebody better hold me.
(Students are silent).
Mr C: (He picks up a textbook) Today, we’re going to look at natural disasters. Who can tell me what is a ‘natural disaster’?
(Everyone is silent).
Jane: (Loudly farts) Now, that’s a natural disaster papa. Or What bafundi?
Mr C: (Angry) Get the hell out of my class. Now! Damn it!
(Jane slowly stands up and drags her feet towards the door. Before stepping out, she stops and unexpectedly throws her gum onto Mr C’s nose).
Students: (Shout) Oww!
Mr C: OK, OK, keep quiet, she’s gone now. What was I saying? Oh, how can you explain ‘Natural disaster’?
Students: (Chant) Go get her! Go get her! Go get her!
(Mr C stares at them astonished. The neighbour class teacher, Mrs Karina is disturbed by the loud noises coming from Mr C’s class. She goes out to investigate).
Students: (Hitting the tables) Go get her! Go get her! Go get her! Go get!
Mrs Karina: (Storms in) What the hell is happening here? Why are you constantly screaming like mentally disturbed patients? (Turns to Mr C) Mr Charles?
Mr C: They were saying I should…
Xoli: (The oldest in class interrupts) Get you, to give us an explanation for natural disaster. We are really struggling Mrs Karate.
Mrs Karina: Karina! Not Kara… What-what.
(The students giggle).
Cindy: (Sitting in front of the classroom) Ma’am, he’s lying.
Xoli: (Sings) For love! For love! Whoo! What a song. Can you feel it ma’am?
Mrs Karina: Feel what?
Xoli: That’s a new hit song by Michael Jackson. Hello!
Mrs Karina: Isn’t he dead?
Xoli: Who now?
Mrs Karina: MJ.
(Xoli Gasps and Mr C laughs like a hyena.)
Mrs Karina: (Asks Mr C) But are you OK upstairs?
Tell us: What do think of Mr C?