I would like to go back to 2010 when you were born. You brought light to our family. You were not just your mother’s baby, you made everyone smile. You had peace and your presence had the ability to brighten any dull day.

I remember how cute your cheeks were, you had a very fancy smile, even today I still see your smile.

The only difference is I only see you when I sleep. I still remember as if it were yesterday when my sister brought you home, you truly had a very strategic way to bring the whole family together. I cannot remember all the days after and before your birth, but I’m sure your mom does. I remember you being born on the day after my sixteenth birthday and I remember how you spent your few days on earth without a proper name. We just couldn’t sprinkle any random name on you, it took strategic and meaningful time to give you a name you deserved.

I’m sure God was involved in discussing your name as he knew how long you would be with us and we’d be left to snuggle and hold onto your name forever. I remember how you set the house on fire with your presence in every family gathering, you danced like a pro and you weren’t shy at all.

I still have memories of your voice and how you made sure you were noticeable, at all times. You are not easy to forget, we only had nine years to spend and create memories with you and obviously if we knew we would have created more joyful memories.

God has got the world and its people in his hands, he planned our birth and death dates long before our parents knew and no one could ever oppose that. My heart still breaks whenever I talk about Zanothando’s sudden death, it was and still is nerve-shattering, unhoped for and unprepared for. It broke all our hearts to see her lying unconscious and breathless. I couldn’t stop asking myself questions as to why I didn’t I visit her more often and spend as much time as I could while she was alive. I hated how her death went slippery in everybody’s hands, we all had no control.

I begged God to keep her, we all did, but God had already decided long before her arrival on earth. Death for any family is heartbreaking, it isn’t familiar to anybody and the worst part is accepting that you’ll never see the person again.

My niece had a bubbly personality and she loved people so much. I guess heaven is now much happier with her around. That’s how she got her name, she was a joyful soul, filled with so much love, she brought love into our family and when she left, she left with most of it. I’m sure heaven couldn’t wait for you, Zano, I’m sure any day is a joyful day there. My heart still aches knowing you aren’t coming back to us; you cannot come back to talk to us, to dance for us and make everybody laugh and cheer us up once again. I believe though it is wise to let the sleeping sleep and accept they’ve been called home.

We shouldn’t forget they existed, they were once our friends and family. I miss my niece so badly and I would be so happy if God would give me a chance, just one more chance, to be with her and tell her how much we love and miss her. But for now it’s time to let her have her lifeless sleep, a sleep with no worry or stress. She’s in a better place, we will always remember and celebrate the life she lived, until we meet again, Zanothando.

Tell us: Do you have any helpful advice for someone who is grieving?