Here’s me choosing someone who tells me how soft I am, although he says I’m controlling. Sometimes I feel like I am more mature than my age, that’s probably because I get to hang out with women older than me.

I’m in a situation where I’m with someone who’s heart is with someone else. He told me that he still loves the girl, who’s cheating and lying to him, whereas he used to do everything for her. I told him that if he decides to get back together with her he should tell me so that I can back off. I do love the guy, but I don’t think he can handle me being his girlfriend.

Yesterday I texted my guy, “the situationship one”, and he told me that his mom was around. His mom knows me and all, so I decided to go to his place and guess what, the other girlfriend was around, and he was not around. I just went back home.

There were so many red flags that I’d been avoiding. Firstly, he told me that he wouldn’t date me because I’m controlling and I don’t support him, even when he’s doing wrong things. He happened to have a conflict with some other guy when were at a hotel, then I decided to calm him down before the situation got out of hand. When we got to our room he told me that I was very soft and I should have handled the situation differently and supported him. And that if he was with someone else he knew for sure that he would have felt like a man.

I don’t support wrongdoing. It doesn’t matter if you’re my person or not, I’ll always stick to what’s right and I’ll tell you if you’re wrong, because I know that a relationship is about building each other, helping each other grow and not misleading one another.

The second red flag was when I found out that he deleted all my pictures on his phone, and he started to tell me when I should visit and stuff. Why was he not telling me that he was trying out with other people that were not me? Surely by now he was planning on lying to me again. I’ve been entertaining him for long enough. For me, I want to be in a relationship where my voice is valued, where I know that my guy wouldn’t mind me saying, “Babe, let’s go 50/50 to get that and that done.” Where he wouldn’t tell me that he’s the one who’s supposed to decide.

I may not earn a fat cheque, but being responsible is what is needed. I don’t need a guy to do everything for me, I know that I can still do things for myself.

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