Her baby, Mary, was 4 months old – she was almost everything to her. She was the love between her and the baby’s daddy, Jason. Sometimes she asked herself that would there still be that love if it wasn’t for Mary? She always had the love for him, but she was exhausted from all the pain of love. She often asked herself, “Why is it called loved if it brings me the opposite?”
She was a teen mom, and she was a proud one – not actually proud that she fell pregnant, but she was proud that Mary brought joy in her life. Mary was actually the only joy in her life apart from the support of her family and friends, even though she would often keep her up at night; she still stood out to be the most valuable in her life.
She felt a need to cut Jason out of her life, but he would still be allowed to see the baby as much as he wanted. She felt a need to be a single parent merely because she felt that love was just too lovely for her, but Mary’s love was always accurate and joyful.
Just like everyone else she had her weaknesses.
It often happened that when we’re hurt we run or better yet turn to someone, for comfort I guess. Just to ease the pain. She would often flirt, but not with just anyone – she wasn’t like that. She would flirt with a close male friend, perhaps her best male friend? It always helped, and sometimes it would often raise feelings from both parties. Despite all that, she always made it clear that she was with Jason, even though she didn’t scale how much she loved him – she always went back to him when all was good.
Day in, day out, she always wished that love was not so painful. Till one night when she decided to end it with Jason.
It was after a tight argument they had, the fight erupted after a peaceful and perhaps one would say an exciting moment between two people. She felt relief after breaking up with Jason. Was this the end of something? Was it the beginning of a life full of joy, away from love? She thought.
Two days went by and she felt real torture – she missed him. He came over to see them, but it was only Mary he came to see. And that right there made her realize how much she wanted him in her life, but she was still afraid of love; perhaps she was just doing it for the baby.
She always shared her life with her close male friend, but this time was different because he felt what she felt – that feeling of regret. She didn’t regret the fact that she loved Jason, but the fact that loving him hurt her so much. Despite all that, his absence was felt and his presence was missed. She had to get him back and apologize for her careless mistake.
At first he held back, he didn’t want her back. Perhaps that was because he knew that she loved him. Or was he testing her love for him? Her love always proved to be true.
Now in order not to allow love not get over her and her heart – she was advised to make what she wanted to see out of Jason, but she didn’t clearly understand the advice. That’s because she believed in herself, but she didn’t believe that she could do it – well she believed; perhaps she didn’t know how and where to start.
Until one day; she stopped crying and began to ask herself questions.
“What’s my name? My name is Ayah.”
“What do I want in life? I want to be happy.”
“I want Mary, but that doesn’t make sense. I already have Mary.”
“No, you silly – you want to marry Jason.” She heard a soft voice from inside. “Don’t wish to be everything to everyone, just be something to someone – you’re already a mother to Mary, be a wife to Jason. You, Marry, Jason – You, Mary and Jason.” The voice became softer and softer.
She realized that sometimes she doesn’t need advice, but the soft voice inside her.