For any man and woman to be called husband and wife, a lot of things can happen in their lives. Things that are good, bad, and things that teach them valuable lessons about life. It is not all about having fun and taking each other to different beautiful places.

For a couple to be in love for more than 20 years, bear and raise children and have grandchildren, is not a joke.

Nowadays, couples are like popularity contests, meaning that love is just something we do for other people to admire us. Love is just something we do just because most of our friends are doing it. When we look at our WhatsApp statuses and see our friends posting pictures with their lovers, we tend to think that that’s the definition of being in love. We tend to feel it and want it in our hearts.

But that’s not all love is, that is just a pinch of what love is.

Posting pictures on social media when we are with our lovers is only to update other people that we are still in love. Some people use it as an album but most do it to show off.

When we want to be in love or to get a lover, either a boyfriend or a girlfriend, we should not do it just because our friends are also doing it. We should evaluate ourselves and check that we are ready for love.

It is very sad how most of us these days define love. We tend to see it as something that must bring us money. Others do it because their friends are in love, unaware of the consequences and work it takes to be in a relationship. We tend to be premature when we fall in love. We tend to think that love is about having sex. We tend to think that love is about boasting to our friends that we are in love with the finest and the most beautiful girl or guy in town. Others tend to fall in love for the fear of being mocked for being single.

We do not even evaluate ourselves inside-out. We do not think of the future.

Others think that love is all about memorising poems and songs that carry love messages. Songs from Chris Brown, Trey Songz, to Ed-Sheeran and many other artists that advocate for love. We think if we know these lyrics, then we know what love is.

This is why most relationships do not last because they are not genuine. Couples disagree on a simple thing that could be talked about and then come to an agreement, but they tend to fight and break-up easily. Others break-up without a valid reason. Others would even tell each other that they are tired of their relationship. Some cheat when they get what they wanted out of a relationship, which is bad.

For example, a guy would have sex with the girl he had been dying to be in a relationship with, and then begin to cheat once he has her. A girl would see that a guy is rich and agree to be in a relationship with that guy, but when he goes broke, that’s when she dumps him and goes for another guy. These are the types of people who do not know what love is, for love is for the brave and the strong.

When you have grown up and want to find a lover, you should be prepared to take care of that person. You need to be very committed to your relationship for love is not a popularity contest. You need to know that there are both happy and sad moments. Love is not only about sunrises and sunsets, it is also about cloudy rainfalls and storms. Sad moments in love make us grow and learn different lessons in life.

As for good moments, these make us aware that love is a good thing and happiness can grow from it.

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Tell us: What do you believe love is?