Dear Tshepo

I sometimes wonder how you sleep at night knowing that you broke a heart that loved you with no hesitation, no doubt. I sometimes wonder if you ever did love me like you claimed. I don’t understand how you could break someone you loved like this.

I blame myself for staying with you even after you showed me red flags. You always chose other people over me, but I never cared because I was blinded by love. I was a fool, but how do I begin to stop loving you?

I was always your second option. You would always apologise and tell me that you’d change and give me the love I deserved, but you always kept on repeating the same thing over and over again, which makes me wonder, was I not enough for you? Don’t I deserve to be loved like those people you always put first?

Loving you has caused me so much pain. How do I even let go while I’m still so in love with you? Even after everything, I don’t hate you, I only hate myself for allowing my heart to love you. But how do I tell my heart whom to love and not to love?

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