It was thundering outside, thudding with a bang. However, I never feared lightning or thunder whatsoever! I was in my room—round room, all by myself—listening to music via earphones.

I had been told numerous times to stop doing that because it might damage my ears’ functioning in the future. I was ignorant. I have been. Even when I was outdoors, by the road or on the road, I would have my earphones in my ears—loud as they could be. I enjoyed loud music.

“This music isn’t loud enough,” I said to myself, as I turned up the volume one more time. “Better,” I chuckled.

I knew I wouldn’t be able to tell or hear anything if something or someone called or yelled at me from the outside. But who cared? I was bored. Hurt to the core. I had depression. I wished for death. I preferred being in solitude even though I wasn’t an introvert. I felt like the world was already at its edge of losing it all—people were dying one by one due to the pandemic. Graves were dug in some provinces, so it would be easier for the burials. Our government seemed not to care about anybody’s lives.

Anyway, I was Victor, the only person that ever yearned for peace above triumph, but depression was a villain. At times pessimism would grip my enthusiasm. I loathed that but I couldn’t help it.

I was lying against my bed, gazing at the roof, asking myself rhetorical questions like how the roof came about and what kind of logs it was made of. I turned the volume up. I cried quietly. Only tears could tell my story of how pained I was. They were shining, hot to keep! At my peaceful pre-death, I could hear voices calling me; I could feel footsteps nearing. My door was locked, music loud on bass—window burglar-guarded.

My intuition usually could tell if something or someone was coming at me. However, that time around, it disappointed me. Have you noticed that even sad songs make sense when you are in a sad situation? They push you more and more into suicidal thoughts, a zone of burdened souls.

“Shit. Why is it so hot?” I asked myself. I turned to the other side.

I wiped my tears with my eyes closed. I genuinely didn’t want to witness the world at that time. I didn’t want to see my surroundings. Hurt was reigning within. Null life, I was a donkey cart abandoned by the old potholed gravel road!

My phone rang. I ignored it. It rang again. I declined it; at my teary sight, I saw that it was my sister calling.

“Argh, what does she want?” I said. I faked my napping. If only my soul knew!

I tossed and turned to face up. I opened my eyes. The grass roof was smoky. I sniffed; I caught the smell. I abruptly jumped off the bed, simultaneously grasping my earphones out of my ears.

“Shit!” I cursed again. I headed to the door—the handle was hot to touch. I couldn’t turn the key to open it up. The window burst too; the curtains shrunk within seconds because of the furnace. I screamed, and nobody heeded that. The house was on fire. In my mind, I forgot that it had been thundering and lightning earlier before I entered this house. My ignorance!

“Oh my God, what happened?”

The roof was falling. Burning. The window was no escape! Everything inside was set on fire. Blazed. I had no water to stop it; I could see from the outside that there were movements. I thought they were dealing with my burning house.

“God, it must’ve been the lightning!”

I kneeled and I cried. It was too late for me; I doubted that the fire brigade could save me then. I was near to the end. I advanced to rest in peace knowing I brought it to myself.

I turned into ashes!

***

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