I’m a man. A man from a place where I don’t get educated on the inherent nature or significance of women. One learns the true essence of women by themselves, mostly because we want experience things by ourselves. The older men who teach young men are usually selfish, ignorant, stereotypical or judgemental. If you’re from the hood, I’m pretty sure you are familiar with the following obnoxious phrases used by men: “I don’t date women who have a children”, “she has expired”, “she’s a whore” and many more.
Well I’m here to be the better man and say women deserve better. It’s not their fault, we are partially involved in how they behave.
As a guy I’m boggled by how we found a way to separate women to rank the respect towards them. Our mothers – they are queens, the reason we live, they are our sole protectors (fathers only came in the picture once we were born). Our sisters – we may find them annoying but one thing about them is they care. Our sisters are also the reason we as men know a thing or two about women because we grow up with them. Our girlfriends – we share the love we received from our mothers with these women.
This is how we define the women in our lives and we separate each of them as if they are not the same kind. Yes, our mothers are different because they are older and wiser, but they’re still women who went through terrible things done by men. If I had the courage to ask my mother about her teen years, I know I’d hear things, unbelievable things, things that would conclude that our fathers have also been mistreating women for generations.
But that’s not the image we want to have of them right? We don’t want to picture our mothers ever going through the things that women are going through today. They’re tough now because of the current things that were done and are still being done to our women: body shaming, stereotyping, disrespecting, abuse, cursing, raping, making fun, judging, calling them names and much more.
This is why girls get paranoid, falling into depression, committing suicide and start marches (#MenAreTrash) because they are starting to act against the oppression and patriarchy that women have been dealing with for decades. Women are embracing and protecting themselves because they feel like men have not been doing that for a long time.
Yes women are not perfect but neither are men and we need to start protecting our women because they deserve more.
After everything I’ve mentioned I just want to apologise. I want to say sorry to every woman who has been hurt because of not doing what he wants. For not knowing if you are valuable after he left you pregnant. For every bad thing that happened to you. For being body-shamed. For being dumped because you chose to keep the child. For having to beg for his love. For every pain a man has ever inflicted on you. I just want to say sorry. It’s not your fault. We are ignorant. Please don’t hate us all. Some of us are good men blinded by societal stereotypes. We are scared like you, confused too. So, we choose to hide behind the phrase, “I don’t have emotions.” We actually do, but it’s hidden under years of suppression and ignorance.
Well this is too much, but the moral of the story is that the world isn’t perfect. So, you can’t expect to get perfect beings. Social media can confuse what perfection means but let’s not judge how women are or have been. I’m pretty sure there’s a reason for it which may involve a man. Humans evolve every day and change in how men behave towards women must start happening today. Be you and love yourself. Peace!