You know I remember yesterday I was reading a blog on the way males dominate us women and how they victimise us. Yeah, yeah, I know no one wants to think of themselves as a victim, including me, but truth be told I’m a victim.

I’m a victim of groping, cat-calling and all the other nasty things. Anyway, let me tell you my story that left me humiliated and furious. I was walking in the school corridors with my two friends and we were rushing to leave our school bags near our classroom and enjoy our 35-minute break.

Whilst we were walking in pure silence a group of matriculants approached us (mind you, I was in Grade 9). One boy grabbed my arm violently and yanked me towards him. Instinctively, I tried to pull away with all the strength I could muster (considering my small frame). I managed to free myself, unaware of the humiliating insults that were being shot in my direction.

I was so hurt my whole day suddenly became dull. I mean, just because I was refusing to acknowledge his shameful advances doesn’t give him the right to practically de-humanise me by slut-shaming me for no reason whatsoever. The guy didn’t know me yet he had the nerve…yoh, I’m actually shaking as I’m writing this ‘cause it infuriates me a lot.

To make matters worse, this wasn’t my first time being violated. I recall this one occasion where my cousin and I were sent to go and collect a cake that was ordered for our baby cousin’s birthday party at a local petrol station. A man (probably in his late 20s or early 30s) wrapped his arms around my waist.

I could smell the alcohol on his warm breath as he did this. I quickly unwrapped his arms from me and had to withhold myself from slapping the hell out of him.

“Awu manje baby girl wazisusa kabuhlungu kanje izandla zam, ubungasho kahle uma ungayithandi lento engiyenzayo,” he said, with a smirk on his face.

I immediately felt sick to my stomach. The audacity of this guy, I thought. How dare he even say that I could have told him nicely that I wasn’t interested? I was so traumatised by the thought of what would have happened if my cousin wasn’t present.

I’ll never allow a man to make me feel the fear I felt on these two occasions, and neither should you.

Tell us: Why do you think some men take sexual harassment so lightly?