I wish I had a chance to tell you that the first time I saw you was magical. I got to experience a feeling I have never experienced before, which is love. I felt a sense of belonging and for once I got to forget about my everyday life problems of which I never got a chance to share with you.

You were everything I needed and beyond. Your personality, your scent, your maturity and how can I forget your golden voice. Everything you said made sense. Your jokes made me smile from ear to ear, exposing my not well aligned teeth. You accepted me with my flaws and not only did you tell me you loved me, you showed me.

It was all heaven and sweet until we reached a certain stage. I guess I wasn’t what you wanted me to be, perfect and as wise as you are. You should have known that perfect doesn’t exist.

I wish I had a chance to tell you that I pretended to be strong knowing very well that I am weak, emotionally unstable and lost. Instead of seeking guidance and support in you I shut you out, built a wall around me. I built a wall so high and strong and then expected you to climb it. No wonder you walked away.

I wish I had a chance to tell you that your efforts were highly appreciated and seen. I know it looks like I gave up on what we had without a fight, but I swear I fought until I became emotionally drained and powerless.

I wish I had a chance to ask for forgiveness while you were still here. I wish I had a chance to say all the things that I’ve mentioned, but I guess I can’t reverse the clock so I’ll have to make peace with not having a chance to utter those words.


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