You want to know someone? Heart, mind and soul? What you’ll get are sentences stretching into a story. And there’s nothing more telling than a story.
I met her at a tuition centre. I went there with an aim, not to fall in love, but some things are not intentionally done. It is like your own shadow, even if it is invincible in the dark it follows you and becomes visible whenever there is light.
Like how most conversations start with a ‘hi…hello…’, our conversation wasn’t alien to that. A few chats enabled us to know each other, we were knit from the same thread and I fell for the girl.
And that is where the story began, she was a human with an angel face and a loving heart. When she smiled, she showed off her beautiful snow white teeth, her breathe was as fresh as mint and her lips were the sweetest thing I ever tasted.
Every time we knocked off, we would dwell in the dark and express our love for one another. We would do all that young love birds would do. Desperate for one another. My heart was stuck next to hers. We were inseparable. Those who talked behind our backs only talked to themselves because I was hers and she was mine.
In the cold we would be glued to each other like Siamese twins feeling one another’s heart as they simultaneously beat softly and freely. I’d hold her hand to feel her soft skin and she’d smile and I’d smile right back.
She’d put her hands around my neck, like a tailor does to his measuring tape and I held her waist pulling her closer and planted my lips on hers. It was beautiful, the nights were quite warm and filled with passion. All the night walkers were singing with their melodious tunes, the wind blew slowly but lovely. The leaves that fell from the trees crawled with the wind current. I was in love.
I was captive of her love, every day I loved her more and more. I missed her by the passing of time. She was my everything, the pillar of my pathetic life. We had something in common. We are all seeking a person we could love the way we love ourselves and them loving us the same way in return. That was me and her – a perfect match. I’m sure Ed Sheeran would sing ‘Perfect’ for us. “I found a love…for me… Darling just…” the song goes on…it never stops. I would dream of her every night. Dreaming of our little family which was destined to be true, if only she didn’t do what she did.
She left me without a good reason and told me to carry on, but how on earth can I move on with dust in my eyes? I cried my heart out, to somehow bring her back home with me, to come back to me – her everything. But I failed, her sweet voice, now talks to me with contempt, as the dry desert lacking water to quench it’s never ending thirst. She lacked passion and love. She said it was over and that her feelings for me were dead.
I tried talking to her a million times, so that we could resurrect our love. Baby please come back to me, but nah, it didn’t work. It’s a shame she didn’t love me as she loved herself. We loved each other and now she despises me for loving her.
The memories of every lovable and most memorable scenes, hits me like one raging bullet and has no intention of stopping. You try to stop it, but it’s got a mind of its own. Wishing this wasn’t the reality, but then reality slaps you in the face as you suddenly come to.
I guess the people we love are the ones who hurt us the most. The ones we sacrifice so much for, that we lose ourselves and our dignity on our momentous journey to find them. I loved unconditionally and I was left in a wounded state. But who am I not to love. I’m human and I think I just have to learn how to love and not hurt. And even if they leave me, not everyone will leave me and I can’t throw away who I am for anyone. I can’t dwell in the past and let my flaws dictate my future. Because I learnt that, “life isn’t the amounts of breaths you take but the moments that take your breath away.” I’m looking forward to those moments.
Tell us: What life lessons did you learn from your worst break up?