“The hardest part about moving forward is not looking back” – Felicity
What’s in the rear view mirror is closer than it appears. As much as I speed up, trying to run away from you, you keep pushing your way to get closer; seeking my attention. You impose a feeling that maybe something good will come out of this. If only I could give it a try and look back.
I sometimes wonder what good thing could possibly come from this? Is it to understand some things that can never be understood or looking back to fix stuff that can be never fixed? See, I have learned not to fall for your tricks or believe your lies once again.
I will not look back even in the middle of mist where I cannot see where I’m going, even if it means trusting that there is beauty behind the mist.
I am also aware that you will not give up. You travel like the wind and penetrate my skin, giving signals to my brain. You take full control of my movement, pushing me into an ocean of frustration and anxiety without forgetting how you instil fear within me. The fear to not move forward, the fear to think that everything and everyone will hurt me. So I lay there, drowning in this ocean of anxiety.
You might have won the last battle, but not this time around. I have become a different fighter now and I have God to thank. You have nothing to do with my present nor my future. You are my past and I don’t need you to make a sequel. With that being said, I will not look back.
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