“Hey you, Sipho! Why are you not focusing in my classroom? What are you thinking about? Are you thinking about that food you left at home and you are afraid that your brother might eat it?” Miss Sonjica asked, calling me back to reality from my dream world.
I had been thinking about an incident that occured the day before…
It was break time in my new school. The sun was shining and I was admiring all the terrific trees and green grass. I was standing on B-Block, on the third floor.
Along came a girl called Siphie. “Hello, Sipho. May I join you?” she asked with her small sweet voice.
She was one of my new classmates. She looked like she was feeling pity for me but had a smile on her face at the same time.
With my eyes downcast and in a shaky voice, I replied, “Yes, why not?”
She stood next to me, too close to be comfortable. But I didn’t tell her that I wasn’t OK with the way she was standing because I was scared she’d think I was afraid of girls.
“Do you want something to eat? I’ve got a lunchbox and it is enough to satisfy two of us…” She asked, opening her lunchbox.
In it there were two apples, two bananas and a few pieces of white toast with polony and cheese inside.
“No, thanks,” I replied.
“Come on, Sipho. Take it,” she insisted.
I took one banana and a slice of bread. While we were eating other boys passed us and said, “Hey, bro, useyiqhwatsi apha kwesi sikolo. but you’ve got your chick. You are a charmmer hah!”
I wished that I could hide myself. But when I looked at Siphe, she seemed to be enjoying what they were saying.
The school bell rang. She said to me: “Sipho, before you leave can you help me with something later on?”
“What is it?” I asked.
“Will you help me with my Accounting homework please?”
I wished that you could hear that sweet lovely voice. It gave me no choice but to accept the request. I just stammered, “Yes, but only after school.”
“Yeah, sure, after school.”
And, she disappeared, just like that.
After school I waited for her in my classroom. I just walked around the room, reading all the colourful posters on the walls.
Siphe arrived with a big smile on her face. She came straight towards me. I sat down and she sat next to me, just like she had at break time. I gave her the excuse that she must give me space to write, but she said: “Sipho, don’t be afraid. It’s just the two of us. Come close so that I can hear you well. Remember that you have a tiny voice.”
It felt as if I would faint. I’d never sat so close to a girl like that before. But I was afraid to say no.
We started working through the homework, which was about Asset disposal. To me it is just an interesting section in Accounting. So I started to tutor her.
She just looked straight into my eyes, with her sexy eyes. That made me feel even more uncomfortable. Then she said in a calm voice: “You know what, Sipho? Your voice is beautiful. You sound so gentle and lovely. When you speak it’s like listening to the sounds of a river flowing.”
I didn’t know what to respond, so just said, “Thanks.”
After that she took my right hand and brushed it. I just froze like a sculpture.
She looked at me with a smile in her eyes and asked, “What are you afraid of?”
Maybe it was just my fear. Normally I am afraid of strangers. But I also knew what was going to happen next… and I didn’t feel ready for it.
She brushed my face with her left hand and then she kissed me… just like they do on TV! Her lips were soft and a little sweet. Her mouth smelled great.
When this happpened, I felt dizzy. My body went cold for a moment.
She then stopped kissing me and looked at me to see what I thought. Next moment it was more than I could handle. Her hands were all over me, unbuttoning my school shirt and vest. I was so afraid of this next stage but didn’t know how to stop it.
Luckily my phone rang and I answered it. It was my friend. Siphe tried to convince me not to take the call, but it was my only hope of escaping. I said, “No, it’s my mother and she’s waiting for me because we have to get to my uncle. Oh gosh, I’m late! She’s going to kill me!”
While I was talking I quickly pulled on my shirt and vest. I could tell that Siphe was disappointed but that didn’t matter to me – I was safe from HIV/Aids and teen pregnancy.
That next day, when Miss Sonjica shouted at me, I was thinking about all these things and what would have been the possible consequences if I had agreed to go to the next stage.
I kept on asking myself whether my decision was a good one or a lame one. Siphe had already gone around the school saying that I was a coward, that I couldn’t handle the boobs of a virgin.
I wish I knew what other guys would do if they were in my shoes…