My eyes didn’t believe what they saw that night.

As a university student, going out to party every weekend is a ritual; well for some. Me, I am a homebody. I enjoy my solitude. My weekends are filled with reading books and watching movies in the comfort of my own bed. However, my roommate was able to guilt trip me and convince me to go out with her and her friends. “Come on Noxy, why are you so uptight? You need to loosen up and create varsity moments; or a moment at least. What will you say you did here, besides reading and watching boring romantic movies. Join us this once and if you don’t enjoy yourself tonight then I will not bother you ever again,” said Zipho.

“Promise?” asked Noxy.

“Promise,” replied Zipho. Zipho and Noxy sealed the promise with a pinky swear.

The plan for the night was to go to this elite club called Konke. Apparently the A-Listers of the country all ended up there. To be honest, I was kind of excited because I would end up rubbing shoulders with the well-known, breathing their air. I hope I will not suffocate – I thought to myself.

The night was young and so were we. My roommate glammed me up. I was unrecognisable with the long lashes, full face beat, little black dress and stilettos – even though I couldn’t walk in them; but girl I faked it. I was Naomi Campbell, walking the hallway like I was on the runway.

The Uber fetched us; who requested it, only God knows. The thought of the night gave me ecstasy. I kept telling myself, “You only live once; make tonight count. Have fun and let it all out.”

Finally we got there. As we entered, the flashing lights hit my face, the music deafened my ears, and everywhere I looked there was booze. A group of girls were smoking a light bulb and exhaling a dark cloud above them – it all looked cool; peer pressure convinced me that I too, should try it.

We arrived at our section. Zipho sent a text to a mysterious man and a few minutes later our table was filled with expensive liquor. I bit my tongue trying to pronounce their names. Then the light bulb came on and my heart started jumping up and down in excitement.“Yey, I am about to create my own cloud,” I said to myself. The girls suggested that we start the night with shots of vodka. Oblivious me nodded as quick as a flash. I took one shot and I felt my throat, intestine and stomach burn. But I acted cool and threw more down my throat until I lost count.

The clock struck 00:00; that’s when everything shifted. The atmosphere changed – from the music to people’s behaviour. The lights were dimmed.  New VIPs came. The filthy rich had arrived. Ministers, rappers, actors; even well-known pastors made their grand entrance. They invested in this fun and now they came to claim their interest. I scanned around and saw a pastor who talked ill about the LGBTQ+ community, yet he was being entertained by young beautiful boys. Then I saw ministers finessing young ladies, throwing money at them – my parents’ tax money. Rappers were performing with girls who were barely dressed, their clothes only covered a small portion of their breasts and private parts. Their desirable bodies – that conformed to all the stereotypes of what beauty is – made me feel insecure about my body. The girls had big behinds – so big they swallowed their G-strings – and they were shaking them like nobody’s business. There were girls who were throwing themselves on married men; kissing and grinding on them. The men were having the time of their lives – I was disgusted.

My stomach started to turn and I rushed to the toilets. Before I could even reach the nearest toilet, my mouth lost the battle and couldn’t hold my vomit in anymore. I threw up.  I felt as if I was vomiting my soul. I didn’t know whether it was because of the vile things I saw, or because of the toxic chemicals that had started to dissolve in my system. Finally I stopped vomiting. I lay on the floor for a short while, trying to regain my strength. Then I dragged myself up and went straight to the sink. I washed my face. My reflection in the mirror called me to look at myself. I was ashamed of the person I saw. My higher-self asked, “Who are you, and who are you trying to impress Noxy?” I couldn’t respond because I barely recognised myself.

The night hides secrets like a poker player keeps their cards to their chest. This party was an exception that forced the night to expose its secrets. This made me wonder what other secrets I am not aware of that the night holds.