There is that moment whereby you are so in love, so much so that you are willing to do anything for that person. You go in with both feet. You even go as far as sacrificing the one person that gives you a meaning to live life as a woman, a mother and a friend. The little faulty things you CV picks up, they don’t matter to you at that time because you’re on fire. Love is in the air. This person makes you feel like you cannot live without them and you want to be with that person forever, grow old with and die with him – you know “Romeo and Juliet” vibes? You want to tell that person everything, even a simple thing that happened, you even laugh at that person’s jokes that don’t make sense; even when a fly just passes by.

You go everywhere that person goes because you’re so addicted to their presence, you always want to be next to that person. People talk about faults, mistakes, expectations, but you don’t even care about those. You don’t picture that person betraying you, or doing something negative that you didn’t expect. The support you give is out of this world, you forget about yourself. You don’t even realise that you keep on giving all the time.

I loved so deep because he deserved to be loved so much after all that we went through. I couldn’t imagine him with someone else. I make sure that I always give him what he needed most, even his wants I prioritised. I chose not to punish him because of my terrible previous love experience. Also I needed to prove to him that I could love him no matter what, and you know what? That’s how I felt, truly.

Then I had to face reality. So you know things happen and you find that there are things that don’t fit in the puzzle? You don’t get along anymore, you’re not sure if the situation can be fixed or end just like that.

Something that I never imagined, happened. I look at him and realise I no longer feel the same way. How could it be a want to give it a try again, but so much has happened that doesn’t fit in that puzzle anymore.

What now? What’s this thing happening to me? – to us? I have no answers.


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