I carry the origins of growth inside me. I carry inside me a constant search for knowledge, and this makes me capable of inner joy, peace, and so much more.

The most common assumption for every independent, happy-alone, and single protagonist is that she will be noticed. It is the most obvious plotline. Somehow, eventually at a bar or library, café, or somewhere more dramatic, someone will notice her. It might be a man she likes or doesn’t care much for, but her singlehood will eventually be terminated by someone noticing her amidst all the chaos in the world.

So, when we young, real-life protagonists of our own lives and struggling to determine if our singlehood has an expiry date watch this assumption embedded in the movies, we start to expect that we will be noticed too; that it must be the next development in our lives.

In constant anticipation of someone noticing us, we start to spend a lot of our singlehood making ourselves perfect for the moment. It sprouts from the excitement of someone checking us out and turns into a preoccupation with always being self-conscious should someone be watching you. In doing so we spend a lot of time trying to solve for love, being alone, lonely, absent with ourselves, and present with ourselves in the dream of a stranger coming to give us love.

Often nothing happens; no one takes notice. Social outings end up with coming home alone, and we start to think that we are not worthy of love and attention that we surely must be doing something wrong, but to every single woman out there: maybe the real-life protagonist was supposed to notice herself.

Maybe at a bar or the café, the library, or somewhere more dramatic, she was always supposed to notice herself, her heartbeat and how it rages on its own. The plotline of a stranger coming to the rescue may be enticing, but it also reeks of insufficiency.

The truth is, you can be a protagonist, yet still go unnoticed, that doesn’t mean you’re not worthy. No one may notice you, but the good news is: It won’t even matter as long as you notice yourself.

Go. Live in a way that makes you feel worthy of your attention. You can never go wrong with choosing to put yourself first.


Tell us: Why is self-love so important?