The world is for ever changing, nothing feels the same everyday but we as individuals are struggling to be part of this change. We are facing impediments which are above our sense of control but yet each day we are still hopeful. Growing up without a father was not a choice nor was being impregnated by an abusive man.
For many years I desired to be loved, genuinely knowing that whatever hard situations I go through, there is always that person who provides me with an arm of warmth and shoulder to cry on. Yes, I was hopeful and for many nights, I cried and laughed at how crazy I was to think a genuinely loving man exists. One night in December 2018 at midnight, for the first time I felt helpless and told God my new year’s resolutions and part of them was to be loved even if it meant getting my mother’s love of which I had also not experienced. An hour after my prayer, a man approached me but I was unwilling to hear him out or give him my full attention. The reason for this, was the hatred I had developed for men, which was caused by my father and baby daddy.
My low self-esteem was tattooed on my heart by my biological mother who always reminded me of how useless I was and that I would never amount to anything in life. This man said “You’re beautiful but your kindness attracted me.” Was this a compliment? I asked myself yet still clueless on how to distinguish a compliment from lust. I then felt my heart racing, my knees weakening, and butterflies in my stomach.
A soft voice said “this is another chance to be hopeful again and don’t waste the opportunity.” This world is like a desert, very dry and challenging especially if you have no one to support you emotionally, psychologically and physically. This man, changed the manner in which I viewed the world, he restored hope and instilled in me a love of loving the world, loving who I am and where
I come from, most importantly forgiving everyone I hated, especially men. This man did not shower me with materialistic things and expensive gifts but taught me how to survive and become a better version of myself through loving me for better and for worse.
The journey of my life is not over, there is more and even worse to come but I am now equipped and able to deal with my circumstances. This man is not my guru but clear proof that not all men are scavengers and wicked, there are men who are willing to change the world and reduce the fear that females have towards men.
All that is required, is for females to be hopeful again, and yes, with hope nothing is impossible thus every morning smells like fresh coffee. We can challenge ourselves towards improving our lives and livelihoods without the fear of being abused. Our hopes and voices shall not dry out and shall keep on developing, growing and finding itself within the forever challenging world. This is my story and everyone else has their own story.
Tell us: What gives you hope about the world you live in today?