The pressure of being in your final year and not having a steady relationship dawns on every girl. And I was not spared.
Admire and I had been together since my first year and I was so anxious with him not proposing. And worse off some of my friends were engaged and even tied the knot. So, you can just imagine the pressure I felt.
I made a choice to get pregnant and force him to marry me, afraid of the myth that educated women were not marriage material hanging on my head. Besides, it’s hard to tell with today’s men.
My goal then was to make sure Admire and I got married, either in custom or court as long as I had a man. So, I set my plan in motion, that weekend I boarded the train to Mowbray were Admire lived with his friends and I knew they would be out of town. He welcomed me with open arms as usual and I wanted that weekend to be special with him not knowing about my plan. We usually indulged using condoms, but I assured him that I had taken contraceptive pills so he should not worry.
That month I missed my period and I knew that my plan was in motion but I had to let Admire in or else, all this could have been for nothing. He was visiting me at campus one afternoon and this is when I planned to break the news to hi. But of course, I would act devastated or else, he would know it was done intentionally.
We had lunch at Smokey Joe’s one of my favorite restaurants and we were to go out with the girls later but I wanted him all to myself. So there I was holding the pregnancy test in my hand as broke the news to him with tears streaming down my face as he sat on the bed. He came to me as I stood there numb and assured me everything would be fine and that he would take care of me. We had gone through so much and I knew he meant every word. So we sat down and started planning our life together as I would have wanted but was it the right choice, I wondered.
Our families were then told and all worked perfectly and we got married. But that year, my school performance dropped as I could not deal with both being pregnant and the demands to excel. I could not quit, being a vet had been my dream but focusing on Admire and my wish to get married made my school work to suffer.
At graduation instead of a distinction I got less and that meant my dream had been shattered unless I start afresh and chose another programme, which means all these years had been wasted. Had I made the wrong choice that would mean my career would suffer? Yes, I now have a family but does it mean disappointing myself in everything I believed? Well, I do not know.
At the moment, I am happy but I wish my little girl chooses wisely when it comes to making these choices.